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Diane1
Diane1 asks:
Q:

Why are you saying to ignore bad behavior. They need to learn how to live in the real world if they are to be accepted. Bad behavior is not acceptable

No amount of bad behavior is acceptable in the real world.  Children with asperger syndrome are intelligent and are capable of learning good behavior from bad and how to minimize meltdowns.  

They can learn how to control most of their bad behavior over time.  But, ignoring bad behavior is not going to teach them anything or help anyone.  You need to teach them what bad behavior is and that it is not acceptable.  You can teach the child the method of repeating affirmations on a daily basis to help control the meltdowns.  I'm not saying this is easy or a quick way to control meltdowns, but it is an appropriate method of learning and it can help along with the teaching methods you supply.

But, it is my opinion, no bad behavior should be ignored.  The child needs to be taught the behavior was bad and some methods of trying to prevent the bad behavior.

My grandchild has asperger syndrome.  I have bipolar disorder.  Medications and teaching are used to treat both bipolar and asperger syndrome.  I am saying that a teaching method that helps me may also help my grandchild and others with asperger syndrome.

If you disagree, please explain.  I am open to suggestions.

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

TheGoToMom
Feb 1, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

I do believe we hear people say, "just ignore it" and it will stop.  But what people are probably referring to is when a child is throwing an "attention seeking" tantrum or acting in a way that draws our attention to them. If you ignore a young child who is being annoying but not disruptive, chances are they'll realize their tactic is not working. However, I never recommend ignoring this behavior in public, it is disruptive when a child throws a tantrum in public. There's no need to embarrass all involved in public so handling the melting down in private is best.  Tell your child 'what you expect of them' in advance to avoid this type of behavior. We know our children better than anyone and can see warning signs before hand.  Prevention is the key to cooperative kids. After a child melts down or has an acting out episode, it's best to address the issue when they're calm not in the heat of the issue. Brain storm together how things could of gone better. And most of all, let them know to come to you when they feel the urge to explode or feel that 'volcano' in their tummy. A line that never gets old is, "I'm always here to help."
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Additional Answers (3)

dgraab
dgraab , Parent writes:
Hello,

Is there a particular article or JustAsk answer on Education.com that prompted your question? I'd be happy to follow up with the author or organizational source to get clarification on the behavior suggestions that were provided.

In the meantime, I'm providing links to information centers about Aspergers and bipolar disorder. Thank you for visiting JustAsk and sparking this discussion.

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pamomteach
pamomteach writes:
I agree that bad behavior should not be tolerated, however i recently learned a valuable lesson from my son's teacher.  If you constantly recognize the bad behavior the child will continue to do it for he knows he will get the attention.  Instead you should (as long as there is no threat of danger to the child or anyone else) ignore the "bad" behavior and praise and reward all good behaviors you see.  this will teach the child to seek positive reinforcement instead of the negative attention.

I hope I explained that well.
> 60 days ago

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eallison00
eallison00 writes:
I disagree by ignoring bad behavior you send the message that bad behavior is not acceptable and you are not reinforcing it because a lot of person's who are MR or MI seek attention good or bad the behavior will then decrease and disappear in most instantaces.If a child throws a tantrum in the store because you are not paying attention to them then you pay attention to them you reinforce the behavior.

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