You do find yourself with a dilemma, and not an unusual one.
However, problems can lead to solutions and growth when you face with careful planning. You are very young to be giving birth, and courageous to follow through with this pregnancy. Here are some ideas for you.
First of all, and most importantly, you need as much support as you can get. You need support from family, friends, and community.
You do not say whether your parents are around and available.
If they are, and if they are able to give you support, my first suggestion is to talk to them. Tell them you want to get your education and get a job. But you will need help with the baby too. Are they able to help?
If they are not in the picture, and even if they are, you may also need help from relatives and friends.
Talk to as many trusted people as you can and see what kind of help you can gather around you for support now, and especially for when the baby comes.
You also need a doctor. You may have one. If not it is important to get one. Talk to him/her. Also tell the doctor that you want to deal with getting an education and a job.The doctor may know some people and agencies in the community that can help.
Also get in touch with your local state supported social service agency. These agencies have different names in different states. The support they can offer can vary, but someone there may know of resources for young single mothers in your state, and in your local area. Some private social service agencies are called "Family and Children's Services," and have groups and resources available for young mothers, and single mothers, to connect with other mothers and share problem solving ideas. Look on line, look in the phone book, talk to people to find out where these agencies are located. Ask your doctor, ask other people. But do find them. They can help.
Another suggestion is to call the school department. You say you want your education "back." Did you drop out? There may be night programs or special programs your school system has for women who are single mothers to get their diplomas. You will need to ask.
I realize that everything I am mentioning requires that you DO something. But this is the reality of adult life, which you are entering with your motherhood. There are people out there who will want to help you and who will be able to help you. You will need to find them.
Do start with family. Let the people who care about you help you to sort out the new life you are going to have. And give yourself time.
You are going to need to spend lots of time with the new baby, and new moms sometimes have to accept that it takes a bit of time to get to their own goals. However, at first you may need to get a job and find good people to watch the baby. A motto that you might use is: "First things first."
Right now while you have a bit of time, think through what you need.
Help caring for the baby while you work, support for yourself because you are so young, are some of the first things you need. Find someone to talk this through with who can help you set your "first things first" list.
You can also ask some more specific questions here on "Just Ask" and see what comes to you for answers.
And good luck! A precious new life is coming and you will be privileged to be the Mom. It is a lot of work and can be a great joy. Take some time to get your plans in order.
Bette J. Freedson, LICSW, LCSW, CGP
Just Ask Expert
http://www.singlemomsos.com/index.html