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kory_jenkins
kory_jenkins asks:
Q:

Im Cutting Myself and I Need Somebody to Talk To

 I need somebody to talk to. I am a victim of Obsessive Thinking Disorder.
The obsessive thinking along with the PTSD has left
my brain reeling and the only way i could cope with the thoughts
of those bad memories, all of them, thats all i think about,
was by letting them out of my arm. That is the reason for the cuts,
for the scars, for everything. all the pain, OCT, paired with my
PTSD has caused me to cut myself over and over. leaving the
ohh so infamous scars, im afraid. My cutting is getting worse and with the abuse i need someone to talk to, im on the verge of suicide and i have no one to talk to. please help me. being constantly abused by myself as made me quite....skittish, every time a get hit
i break down a little more, one day im going to freak out and its not going to be good, i can see it now,
a playful punch at school, meltdown, freaking out to the fullest, i can see it screaming, not letting anybody even touch me,
putting myself into a corner and having to be drug out, the teacchers and my "friends" would try to help, i know there is
no going back after that, the they would bring me to more counsiling, i couldnt take anymore, they would see the scars and the
fresh bloody wounds encompassing my body, i  would be a lunitic, all i need is to be pushed over the edge,
the one person to do it, just do it already then so i can quit freaking out, but after that i will still. thank you OCT
because i will still think about it, it is imosible not to HELP
In Topics: Physical Health, Cutting, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

|

Expert

childpsychmom
Jan 11, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Dear Kory,

Let me start by saying that you have taken the first and hardest step in getting better, asking for help.  You are so brave to have reached out to the online community.  And you have so much insight already about your feelings.  There are so many people that care about you, both people you know and people you don’t even know like me!  And you’re right, talking with someone about what’s going on in your life is the perfect place to start.

Even though it may seem hard, it’s so important that you talk to a trusted adult in your life about your cutting.  Some examples include your parents, a teacher, the school counselor or nurse, a doctor, or a grown up that you feel comfortable sharing with.  Let them know that you have been cutting and want to get help.  If the first person that you tell doesn’t take you seriously or doesn’t help, then try talking to someone else.  Just don’t give up!

Once you tell an adult, they should help you get to a psychologist or a counselor.  Even though you said you had tried that before, it’s worth it to try again.  Maybe you didn’t get along with your first counselor or the two of you just weren’t a good fit.  If that’s the case, you can find a different therapist so that you can start fresh and get the help you need to feel better now.  There is help for you to feel better and to learn to resist cutting.  A trained therapist can teach you the skills you need and be available for you so that you can talk about your feelings.

In addition to telling an adult and seeing a therapist, there are also telephone hotlines available that you can call 24 hours a day to talk to someone about what you’re feeling.  If you’re thinking of hurting yourself, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).  If you are being abused or are in danger from being hurt by someone else you can call Child Help 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).  Even kids or teenagers can call these numbers!  No matter what though, if you are ever in danger of being hurt (either by yourself or someone else), you need to get help.  If it is an emergency, call 911.  

I am attaching some links for more information about how to help your cutting and about the hotlines you can call.  Keep up the good work of reaching out to education.com and now reach out to an adult in your life who can get you the help you need to get better.  You are so very worth it!  Thank you so much for writing to education.com and for sharing your feelings with us.  I for one am cheering you on (along with the whole education.com community)!

All the best,

Polly Dunn, Ph.D.
Child Psychologist

www.ChildPsychMom.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/childpsychmom
Facebook: www.facebook.com/childpsych
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Additional Answers (4)

surkaikandace
surkaikandace , Parent writes:
It looks as though you have tried counseling, but it hasn't worked.  Where is your parents in this?  How was your upbringing?  Just curious on how long you have been dealing with this urge to hurt yourself?  Having a good support system of friends and family is a must to get yourself going in the right direction.  Sorry that you are going through this, but you can get better.  It will not happen over night.  Lets start by explaining when this all started for you, k.
> 60 days ago

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illiebay
illiebay writes:
Have you met the lord the only thing you need is to find the problem why are you doing this if your thinking nobody cares and nobody understands God does God loves u so much he gave his only son to save YOU he loves u so much ask your parents about church if they say u can't go then ask around school find someone who will take u the only thing u need is the lord don't give up just yet try this trust me give it a try and it will help keep me posted onward happening I care.
> 60 days ago

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madrede2
madrede2 writes:
I'm so glad that you are looking for someone to talk to.  You have already taken the first step in getting better by just knowing that you needed someone to talk to.  Not everyone listens and gives support in the same way, so just keep asking until you find people that make sense to you.  We can never have too many people who care and we can never realize how important we are to others as they need someone to care too.

Some of the people already in your life that can help are teachers, school counselors, family members, trusted parents of friends, maybe a church near you has hours where you could talk to a reverend, etc.  You might be surprised who will reach out to you if you trust yourself enough to share what's going on with you. Be wise.  You will know the truth when you hear/see it.

I don't know what to say to help.  People are amazing beings and we have learned many ways to cope with horrible situations.  Cutting is one of them, but it is very dangerous too and I want you to find whatever it takes to get back to a place where you can love and protect yourself like you would if you were another little hurt kid.  If you are in an abusive situation where someone else is harming you, you need to get free of that situation right away.  Reach out to whomever you need to to get safe.  Teachers and school counselors HAVE to help you if you are being harmed.  It is part of the law.  Take care.  You are more loved and powerful than you know.
> 60 days ago

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stepuptotheplate
stepuptothe... writes:
I will talk to you. Your story..life. makes me even sad. Has someone done something to make you feel this way? I have been through very traumatic things myself. My mother didnt want to face the fact that I was raped..told everyone I was crazy. Then married a man who wanted and did tough me after I was already raped. So I moved out at the age of 16. Then the only person who ever loved me through thick and the, my grandmother passed on while I was at work my mother called and just blateltly said she died. Some mother huh? Me I had to think of what my grandmother wanted me to do. After wanting to comit suicide myself, I sat for two days in the dark, cried, did the whole pity party thing, and said what others do or think of me isn't enough for me, or anyone to try and make me want to leave this earth. I and you too are better than that. I fell for you and anytime you would like to talk please reply. I am now a stay at home mom with two wonderful kids and a husband who through..at times let's me cry about the past but I still look forward to my future.
> 60 days ago

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