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Danielle
Danielle , Parent asks:
Q:

Do you have to invite all classmates to a birthday party?

My son's birthday is coming up and I want to keep the party small. He will be turning 5 and does better in small groups. But all of his classmates are inviting 20-30 kids to their parties. We haven't attended all of these, but we have gone to some. My question is, is it okay to keep the kid list to 6-7, or is it rude not to invite his whole class?
In Topics: Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Developmentalist
Feb 1, 2008

What the Expert Says:

Danielle - It is my personal and professional opinion that a mom should do what is best for the child so that they will truly enjoy and cherish their special day.  Some children enjoy their birthday best with family only, others with a few close friends, and others may thrive on having "everyone there."  (And, I quite frankly feel lots of moms will be relived not having to be on the birthday party circuit each weekend.)  Hope that helps, Denise

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Additional Answers (3)

ronald
ronald writes:
Danielle,

I strongly support keeping the group to a manageable number. I had two boys and we did not do the whole class option. Our concern was more around having the right  number of friends that could be managed and that we could successfully organize activities with. I think the problem arises when you invite most of the kids from a class then leave out a few. Our parties usually consisted of 2 or 3 friends from class but also friends from other settings. Good luck with your party.

Ron
> 60 days ago

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Tyler&Harly
Tyler&Harly , Student writes:
I think you should  do what you want to do but, i never EVER EVEER invite my whole class :\ it gets kinda hard to handle things :P so invite as many as you feel is comfortable to you and your son
                                                              
                                                                               ___Tyler___
> 60 days ago

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Karenmom
Karenmom writes:
Hi Danielle,

If you are planning on sending the invitations to school with your child to be passed out during the school day, then yes, you should invite each classmate.  Rest assured, they all won't attend, but this way no one was left out.

If you are going to invite your child's closest friends personally, by phone with parent or mail the invitations, then this removes his party from any relation to the school and you can only invite who you want.

If you insist on sending invitations with your child to school, and depending on school policy, maybe you could buy cupcakes to pass out to each classmate on or near your child's birthday and then your son could discretely hand out the invitations to his personal friends.  This way each child felt as though they were a part of this event and you didn't single out students.

Hope this helps!
> 60 days ago

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