RoxanneR
,
Child Professional, Teacher
writes:
It’s extremely difficult to hear that a teacher wants to hold your child back. It’s hard not to worry about the social aspect and what it means about your child on an education level. The reality is that with most children held back in kindergarten, it’s very much a maturity/readiness issue. Unfortunately, maturity is not something that can be rushed. It’s not something you can “tutor” to improve. Children are simply ready when the time is right for them.
Consider that deciding to hold a child back is a huge decision which teachers don’t just do on a whim. They’ve spent close to a year observing and working with your child. They’ve also had years of experience working with other children. They’ve seen children not held back continue through school and have seen the results. Making the decision to recommend holding your son back came after very careful evaluation.
You stated that the teachers felt your son was too immature for first grade based on his struggles with classroom assignments. Since then, you’ve discovered that there was a vision issue for which he is now getting help. It’s wonderful that he is now getting the assistance he requires and this therapy will likely contribute a great deal to his educational endeavors.
That being said, the reality is that this issue wasn’t recognized until later in the year. This means that regardless of whether or not he’s mature enough for grade one, he’s nonetheless missed out on what he was supposed to learn in kindergarten. Although many think that kindergarten is simply “play” in preparation for being in school a full day and for socialization, a great deal more is actually taught. Given that these concepts were likely missed, your child could face a greater learning curve than many of the other grade one children. As you mentioned, you don’t want him to face a struggle throughout his school years. Feeling unprepared for the demands of grade one could affect his confidence and leave him feeling left behind during his school career.
Also, take into account that you may possibly end up facing this decision again, only it will be in later years. In later years, the reality is that there are more difficult social issues with which he’ll have to cope, and years of struggling will have had a harmful affect on his self-esteem and perception of school.
I know that this is an extremely difficult choice to make. Unfortunately, no one has a crystal ball to see into the future so you don’t know which route to take. However, it seems like you’re making the effort to carefully consider your choices and what it will mean for your son. I wish you luck in making this decision.
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