Anonymous asks:

Long story short my daughter was "fired" from the school play by her ex-boyfriend (stage manager). Is it bullying?

Is it customary for a teacher to give a student authority to fire another student? He did it opening night in front of her peers. She was the only one let go. The teacher knows about the incident and no action has been taken.
In Topics: Parent Teacher Association (PTA), Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
May 11, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

I understand how upset you and your daughter must both be that she lost her position on the cast of the school play. I don't know that you can categorize the incident as bullying, but it certainly seems upsetting that the authority to "hire" or "fire" someone was given to a fellow student. It raises the question of whether your daughter's ex-boyfriend is being biased against your daughter because she was the only one that was let go from the play. Every school and drama teacher has their own way of running a school production. It's not uncommon for a student to be given the authority to make casting decisions, however the instructor should always be there to back up the student and correct decisions made in error by the student.

You mentioned that the instructor is aware of the situation but you didn't specify if you have talked to that instructor yourself. If you haven't, I would strongly suggest that you call and make an appointment with the instructor to discuss what happened to your daughter. If you have done that but were not satisfied with the results, talk to the principal about the situation.

If the decision is irreversible, encourage your daughter to get involved in other things inside and outside of school. Remind her that she is a wonderfully talented person and that just because she won't be a part of that play, there are always more and better opportunities just around the corner.

Boys Town National Hotline

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Additional Answers (1)

SMPTUE writes:
This is in no way, shape, or form bullying.  It's an immature boy who can't get over a break up, and another very good example of why teens who go to school together should never be allowed to date.

Just because it isn't bullying doesn't mean it isn't serious.  If he's willing to behave this immaturely in this case, he may be willing to make her miserable any other chance he gets - which then does become bullying.  No one deserves that. Having a teacher condone what he did only makes matters worse by encouraging his behavior.

The best thing you can do is request - demand if necessary - a conference with the principal, the teacher, the boy, and the boy's parents. Remind them that it is their responsibility to teach this boy respect for others and that this is not the way we are expected to behave in society.  He'll never make it in the real world if he is allowed to treat people like this anytime they turn him down or don't like him.  And your daughter certainly doesn't deserve to be made to feel like standing up for herself is worse than staying in a bad situation.
> 60 days ago

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