What methods have been successful at distracting a 4 year old from anxious or nervous behavior?

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grahama asks:

Our grandson is a very bright 4 year old in his second year of preschool (3 afternoons/week). He will most likely have another year of preschool since his birthday is late August, and while he meets all other suggested levels of development for Kindergarten, his fine motor skills are still developing. He takes longer to complete written tasks and doesn't enjoy coloring. Another year could easily improve his focus and skill level. What we're concerned about is his anxious behavior. He chews on his fingers and toes on occasion and twirls his hair. Both parents have family members with anxiety issues. The pediatrician has reccommended distracting him when he's anxious. The pediatric group also works with a social worker who may have some suggestions. We certainly don't want to medicate him at this age. We would appreciate any advice anyone has found successful in this circumstance.

In Topics: Anxiety

> 60 days ago

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Expert

lkauffman

Feb 14, 2008

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What the Expert Says:

Hi Candace,

Based upon your post, I can tell that you are a very caring and perceptive grandmother. Your grandson is lucky to have you in his life!

I interpret your grandson's behavior as self-soothing. Like many children his age (and much older!), when nervous or stressed, he relies on the hair twirling and nail chewing to calm himself. Depending upon who you ask, these behaviors, in and of themselves, are not particularly problematic, but it suggests he is struggling with some anxiety.

Given that he has a history of anxiety in his family, I think that it is worthwhile to teach him alternative strategies for calming himself. There are a number of soothing and relaxing exercises that you and his parents can do with him to help him settle himself. For instance, he might benefit from learning some relaxation techniques in which he visualizes a safe or relaxing place. An excellent book for young children that includes a number of visualization scripts for parents to read with their children is called "Starbright - Meditations for Children." When I have recommended this book to parents, they have told me their children enjoyed it very much. Parents typically read this with their child at bedtime. Progressive muscle relaxation is another technique. The following site has a very nice script appropriate for children: http://www.yourfamilyclinic.com/adhd/relax.htm

Finally, to read more on finger chewing and anxiety, in general, you should take a look at the following URLs:

http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Beating_Bad_Habits/

http://www.education.com/reference/topic/TeenYears_MiddleYears_EarlyYears_ShynessFearsAnxiety/

Good luck!

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