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myname1
myname1 asks:
Q:

Middle School:  Birthday locker decorating

My middle school allows children to decorate their friends locker on his/her birthday.  I see it as a popularity contest since not all of the children have friends that do this for them.  Currently, I have two children at this school and near their birthday, I've been in the school and noticed several lockers decorated but my child's locker is empty.  I've asked the school to stop all locker decorating.  I've been through the guidance counselor (who bragged to me about her own bday celebration), a vice principal (who never returned my call) and finally the principal who decided that it would be unpopular to stop the decorating.  The school claims to follow the Olweus antibullying program, however, they consistantly act as bystanders in this alienation of children.  Plus, all of the junk on the lockers is a mess!  Anyway, do you think that I should pursue to stop the locker decorating?  With the start of school, I've been upset with the issue, again.  Thank you!
In Topics: Back to school
> 60 days ago

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dgraab
dgraab , Parent writes:
Hi, Have you approached the PTA about this concern? I wonder if there are a handful of parents willing to pitch in to decorate birthday lockers for those who get missed? I can see how hurtful it might be to be left out, and I empathize with your desire to see the program halted. However, if the school is unwilling to stop the program, the PTA might be able to help ensure that some students' lockers are not missed. Alternatively, there may be a Student Council committee or other student club willing to help, particularly if it's a popular program that the kids enjoy. I hope these suggestions help. Good luck!

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chaughton
chaughton writes:
I honestly do not think that you should pursue this. While I figure you are probably going to disregard my answer I ask you to hear me out. These kids are just showing their love for their friends on their birthdays. Maybe your children need to become more involved in the school because, yes, this is a popularity thing; if you have close friends who are willing to put in the time then you get your locker decorated. However, I do not think this is a form of bullying since no one is picking on your children or in any way trying to make your kids upset. I'm sorry if they feel like they're being picked on but the cold hard truth is that LIFE is a popularity contest.
> 60 days ago

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emily-
emily- writes:
I know why you might think that people could feel left out but nobody is purposely trying to make your child feel bad. Students might just have close friends that like to do that. I don't see it bullying or bad. As someone already said LIFE is a popularity contest. You can either except it or leave it and not worry about it. You make the choice.
> 60 days ago

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emily-
emily- writes:
Also, you could see birthday parties or even wishing happy birthdays as a popularity contest.
> 60 days ago

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