How do I motivate my 9 year old into going to school?
My daughter has had some traumatic things happen to her. She is hiding a lot of what she is feeling from me. I am doing this counseling thing but it is not turning out how I expected it to. She will not mention anything about what is wrong when she sees her counselor and certain things have happened that bother her. How do I get her to think of school as a positive experience and if I start a reward program what should i reward her with?
You don't mention if the traumatic experiences your daughter had are linked to the school she attends. If so, hopefully you are getting support from the school to help her work through the traumatic situation. But even if the event did not happen at school, you can make the school aware that she is struggling and needs some help from them. School social workers and school psychologists are there to help.
If you like your child's school and take an active role in volunteering and helping out, then your daughter will in turn be more likely to feel positive about the school as a whole. Talk positively about her teachers and other staff. Encourage her to play with friends from school and to invite friends over to play when possible. Also, encourage a love of learning in your home by spending time reading and engaging in learning activities when possible.
There are many things you can choose to reward your child with for school attendance, such as going out for ice cream, making a favorite dinner, going to a movie, or having a friend over. What needs to happen eventually is for your daughter to feel that her being at school and doing her best leads to the rewards of learning and getting good grades.
If you would like to speak with a counselor about this or any other parenting issue, please call or e-mail our Hotline. We are here 24 hours, 7 days a week to assist parents and kids of all ages.
Take care and best wishes to you and your daughter!
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