Neglected stepchildren, behavior problems, and learning issues.

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MPoling0812 asks:

My two stepchildren come stay with us every summer. What should be a time of happiness in our house is an absolute nightmare. They are 8 and 7, and neither can read above a kindergarten level. Neither of them can really read fully at that level. Their behavior is atrocious-- I'm constantly in fear of furniture being damaged because they seem to think that our house is a giant jungle gym. Also, neither of them speaks any more clearly than a toddler. My 4-year-old daughter is easier to understand than these two.

Based on stories I've heard from people who have known my husband longer than he's even known his ex, I'm correct in my assumption that these kids are neglected at home. Neither of them is "delayed" in the traditional sense of the word. They're both fully capable of learning, as they do make progress whenever someone bothers to sit down and work with them. Academically, anyway. I'm at my wits end with their behavior, and so is my husband. My own children are well-functioning, educated kids (my son is actually above average), so I know it's not us that's really the issue. My husband is a great father figure to my kids. It hurts me to see him hurt so much because of his own children.

Does anyone have any personal experience or recommendations on how to handle this? I've suggested he have the children to a doctor HERE, and have them evaluated. Any ideas?

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges, Blended families

> 60 days ago

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me10000 writes:

YOU should take the time and teach them and if they are even badder you just tell them education is the best in life for them and they can end up without a shelter over them because they wont know how to read to get the house and they cant work because the jobs want someone with a education then you start by sounding out words then say whole words then look up in a dictionary and write the meaning then find a game to do with it and it should keep them good and ready because they learning and playing at the same time the game can make them both ready and started.

> 60 days ago

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kazandra writes:

you know why are there doing this beccuase this affects them that there mom and dad are togther

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kazandra writes:

you know why are there doing this beccuase this affects them that there mom and dad are togther

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MPoling0812 writes:

I'm the only person who takes an interest in them and works with them. I can't take on the full parenting role. I'm supposed to be support to their dad, but he doesn't seem to care. He wants to be the fun guy, and for them to love him because he's cool. I can't keep giving everything I have to his kids if he doesn't care. I work full time and have my own kids to take care of as well.

My husband's parents see the kids pretty often (they live closer to them and have s lot more money than us), and the behavior is pretty universal. So, it's not just our house. They're neglected. Of course, grandma and grandpa also want to be cool and won't try to correct behavior, either. Everyone's worried about their precious feelings, and not how this is going to end up in the long run. I don't know what else to do, if anything.

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