I am very sorry to hear that your sister is struggling. It must be very difficult to see her suffer and not know how to fix the problem.

I am glad to hear that your mother is taking your sister to see a doctor about her cutting. It is very important that your sister begin to address her cutting, as she is clearly overwhelmed with stress right now.

Individuals who cut themselves are typically flooded with intense negative feelings with no positive way to manage them (e.g., belly breathing, practicing soothing self-talk, talking with a friend, going for a walk or jog). Cutting helps to focus their feelings on a tangible injury, provides relief, and can quickly become "addicting" as a way to cope with tough feelings. It feels good in the moment, and they begin to depend on it as a means for dealing with strong negative emotions. She needs to learn healthy coping strategies and more positive alternatives to dealing with the stresses of life. I have included a couple of links to articles on the topic below.

Meanwhile, you should do your best to take care of yourself (this is a stressful time for you, too!). You suffered a great loss when your father killed himself and it must be very scary to see your sister feeling sad. If you feel comfortable, it might be helpful for you to talk with your mom, a favorite teacher, or your school counselor to express some of these big feelings.

And, finally, the best way that you can be helpful to your sister is letting her know how much you care about her and assuring her that you are available to her for support. Let her know that you will do your best to listen, and you will also help her to practice healthier ways of coping (walking together, listening to music together, etc).

Your sister is very lucky to have such a caring and considerate sibling. I wish you both peace and comfort.

Warm regards,

Laura Kauffman, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist
Education.com JustAsk Expert
http://www.drlaurakauffman.com/