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kkhan_alisha
kkhan_alisha asks:
Q:

Help me overcome my daughters shyness

Hi all,


Im really starting to worry about my 2 and a half year old daughter. Shes very shy. Shes shy to the point where she'll shut down if someone speaks to her and look completely blank and ignore them. It worries me as i have been shy and I know how hard it is and she's starting her formal schooling next year. Its getting a point where I dont know what else to do to help her. Should I put her in a preschool or something?
Shes like this with strangers and with people she knows, even with relatives. HELP
In Topics: School and Academics
> 60 days ago

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Expert

BMelton
Jun 23, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

You are worried that your child is "too shy" and may have difficulties next year in school. I wouldn't be alarmed. She will find her joys and make friends in her way. Encourage her by practicing what to say to people and rehearse what she can do in new situations.

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Additional Answers (6)

SanDee2324
SanDee2324 writes:
Hi,

I have the exact same problem.  My daughter is now in HS and it's been an on going issue for us. We have tried so many different things with her and nothing has helped. She is just finishing her 1st year  of HS and this past year the problem has gotten worse.  The schools are no help what so ever.  We are now looking into home schooling since the problem has gotten worse with her current school.  If you get any responses or answers I would love any information I could get.
> 60 days ago

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nainarohra
nainarohra writes:
Some kids are just like that, just in the same way that some adults are like that. I think the technical term is 'sensitive'.

I had a similar kind of problem with my son. My son found it very difficult to interact with more than one kid at once and he got very stressed. It may just be a personality trait.

But what i would suggest is you is enroll him to a preschool where she has no other option but to interact. That is what i did when my son faced this problem. I enrolled him to Eurokids International preschool where he became social and started to interact with other kids. I hope this helps you too. Because i know how a mother feels. good luck!
> 60 days ago

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lynellen
lynellen writes:
Its wonderful that you are so aware of your daughter's needs!  Does she shut down in other situations that do not require talking to someone?  Some children are overly sensitive to light, sound, touch, even in subtle ways that make them uncomfortable and thus appear to be "shy".  You may want to read Sensational Kids by Lucy Jane Miller for more information.
> 60 days ago

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Redwood49
Redwood49 writes:
"she's starting her formal schooling next year"

At 3 1/2?  It wouldn't be a pre-school situation?  You mentioned that you are also shy, so are you certain that she's not picking up on cues from you in public?  I think that it is a bit early to be too alarmed...  I think that most children (emphasis on "most") mimic what they see their family and other close associates do.  I would suggest you put yourself in public situations...  at friends' homes, at the mall, in stores, and allow your child to see you in friendly interaction.  Alert others to not pressure her to respond, but allow her to gradually become more comfortable in those situations, and after a time, have people begin to gently approach her, offer her a drink of water, or a cookie, perhaps.  You never know, you may find your inner gregarious self while you're at it.  Every person is different, every child is different.  Not everyone is a social butterfly, thank goodness!  But you do wish for your child to be able to feel confident as she grows...  In order to do that, you will have to gradually, gently push the boundaries of her comfort zone.  With practice, she will improve.

As a child, I was painfully shy.  In fact, if anyone held eye contact with me too long, I would feel my eyes starting to well up, a lump in my throat, heat rising in my face...  As a teenager, I had a "chip on my shoulder."  I rejected others, before they could reject me.  I didn't have any social life all through high school.  It was only later, taking a job that required me to work with the public, that I learned to "BS" with the best of 'em.  Men would come in, call me "honey", and I'd want to fall through the floor.  But I eventually got over it, and realized that it was purely social banter, that I'd never allowed myself to go near before.  I'm in my 60's now, and I will never be a person who enjoys the limelight, but I don't hide in corners anymore, either.
> 60 days ago

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Shreeji
Shreeji writes:
Hi, I think you should put her in preschool,because she will get many friends overthere  so she will learn many things from her friends.And whenever you are free,talk to her about her friends.Liike what are your friendes name? which is your best friend? what a good thing which you like the most in your friend?ect.
> 60 days ago

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heenal
heenal writes:
try to tell her speak to people and it not to big thing because I am so shy too my all teacher tell me shy girl so don't worry.
heenal
> 60 days ago

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