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lovemykids2
lovemykids2 asks:
Q:

Am I an overly protective mother or just simply obsessed?

I am a mother of a 14 year old girl.  She has been through the ringer with her boyfriend of a year (he has cheated on her, broken up with her to be with the other girl two times) and she is now seeing him again although he hasnt told her they are "back together".  I can't stop thinking about their situation, I keep looking up the other girl on myspace, and can't stop thinking that he is cheating or going to cheat again.  It is consuming my time and my thoughts.  I realize I need to think about something else and just leave it alone and let her learn her own lessons, but I feel like it is ME and not her.  Is this normal!  I feel so wrapped up in their relationship that I am trying to run it for her and I know that isn't right!  What steps can I do to keep my sanity?
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Teen issues
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Dr.Monika
Jun 16, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Our children form relationships from the day they are born. Their very first, and most important, are those formed with their parents. These relationships will be the basis for how they form future friendships and romantic bonds. As a parent, you serve as a role model and guide. Therefore, talk to your child about relationships from a very early age, using developmentally appropriate language. When your child begins to form very close friendships and starts to be interested in forming romantic bonds, talk to her or him about the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Teach your child to distinguish valued relationships from those that might be depressing or destroy your child’s self-esteem.

If you have a difficult time dealing with your daughter's situation, you feel overly obsessed, and overly involved, seek assistance of a counselor.

Resources:

How to talk to teens about relationships

http://pluggedinparents.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=400&Itemid=201&ed=28

How to talk to kids about healthy and unhealthy relationships

http://pluggedinparents.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=416&Itemid=201&ed=28

Best regards.


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Additional Answers (1)

MimiR
MimiR writes:
She's fourteen and in a destructive relationship.  She doesn't need to "learn her own lessons" of this sort--she's clearly learning that she's worthless and should be used, a VERY bad precedent to set.

Time to step in and break it off for her.
> 60 days ago

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