Education.com
Try
Brainzy
Try
Plus
education.com
education.com asks:
Q:

Parent asks: what do you advise for a stressed out, overwhelmed mom dealing with a four-year-old who is kicking her new younger sister?

Asked on behalf of an Education.com visitor who said:

"I have two daughters: one who is 4 and one who will be 1 in September. My older daughter initially was fine with having a new sister and wasn't jealous. But lately she's been getting irritated with her sister and kicking her. Without having family nearby or in-home helpers (like nannies or maids), I'm stressed out and feeling overwhelmed as a stay-at-home mom of two young kids. I want to be a good mom but find myself getting angry with my older daughter, especially when she kicks her sister. What do you advise for our family to improve this situation?"
In Topics: Children and stress, Parenting siblings
> 60 days ago

|
eliad
eliad , Parent writes:
<p>We have a zero tolerance policy for the kids hurting each other (or us) they go immediately to a time out! no warnings or sweet talks.  </p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I do think that you need to make some time for alone time with each one of them. the older one probably feels &quot;neglected&quot; (for lack of better term) She used to have all the attention and now she need to share it with a little one who need a lot of attention herself.  </p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>You and your husband should make a schedule that each of you spend alone time with each of the girls.</p>

Did you find this answer useful?
1
yes
1
no
Loddie1
Loddie1 , Parent writes:
Hello,
First of all, take some time off from the kids. Maybe treat yourself to a day spa or other nice outing. You definately deserve it even if you feel you don't. What you have is Burned Out Mom Syndrome. When this happens, rarely can you be the mom you should be due to stress overload. I would also advise a mom's day out program for you as well. These years are high energy years and sometimes it wears a mom down.
Secondly, once you have had time to gain some of your time back, you can start to work on these challenges at home. I would also recommend a multi-vitamin with no extra additives. Also, ask dad to come in and help the days you feel overwhelmed.
Good Luck
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
1
yes
2
no
Louiseasl
Louiseasl , Child Professional writes:
There is an excellent book that I would like to recommend, Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.  This book clearly explains the most common reasons why older children become jealous and act out when a sibling comes along.  Also, strategies for coping and changing behaviors are spelled out in this book.  These authors also have a companion book titled, "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk"  that may be a good one to check out, as well.

Good luck!
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
1
yes
0
no
Katie!-!
Katie!-! writes:
Get a cloth placemat. When she kicks the baby put her on the placemat, on the floor. Keep her there for 4  min. Ignore her for that time. If she leaves the placemat, just calmly put her back on without talking. If she starts crying or screaming, she's trying to get attention. After 4 min., tell her she has to be nice to the her sister and she can go play.
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
1
yes
0
no
nannyof3
nannyof3 writes:
Well i would assume you are telling her that it is not appropriate to kick anybody, especially babies. And tell her it is making you angry that she is hurting your baby. And then since she does it again, i would assume you place her in a time out away from baby since she cannot handle playing nicely WITH baby. She may be spending a lot of time on her bed for a few days while she learns the negative affects of her negative actions. Ask her if she wants to be kicked every time she does something you don't like. Tell her its not an option and she needs to ask for help when she is frustrated with the baby.

Did you find this answer useful?
0
yes
0
no
Answer this question
Anonymous
Welcome!
Please sign in.
Not a Member? Join now!