How to I get my parents to accept the person I like?

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Rebeccaaa asks:

I've know this boy named Chris for about a year. It started off good and I asked my mom to meet him but she flipped out because he is 3 years older than me and he's been arrested and he got into bad situations but since then he has changed into a whole different person.He doesn't do drugs anymore and he has really cleaned up. I have never felt this way about anyone before it's not a crush i have had crushes before i know this isn't one. I have been sneaking out with him all the time and it kills me that my mom doesn't know. She previously already made her mind up about him earlier in the year and i haven't brought him up since. But things are getting serious and i really want her to meet him. I don't know how to show her he's different and we truly care about each other. Please help me!!!

In Topics: Teen issues, Teen sexuality and dating

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline

Jun 14, 2012

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What the Expert Says:

First, it makes sense your mom flipped out. :( (We're not taking sides! We promise.) Three years is a pretty big age difference when you're a teenager. Plus, a lot of people who get arrested and do drugs keep on making those same mistakes. Ask a therapist or a police officer. You often have to "get clean" three or four times before it actually works. So your mom, who wants what's best for you, is probably going to have a hard time with your boyfriend's past.

Therefore, maybe collect your thoughts and put them in writing before you talk to your mom. What were all these bad things Chris did in the past? How did he pay his dues? What is he doing right right now? How is he still struggling? How does he plan to stay on the straight and narrow in the future? Try to also prepare for the things you think your mother is going to be concerned about. For instance, if you know your mother expects Chris to have a job, then be ready to tell her he has one or have a good excuse as to why he's not working.

Good luck!

MKM, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

Resources:

http://www.BoysTown.org/

http://www.YourLifeYourVoice.org/

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Additional Answers (3)

Nikki009 writes:

Just tell them it is your life and you are grown up enough so the have to deal with it :)

> 60 days ago

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pratixa writes:

according to my view if u are 100% sure that he has improved a lot and both of u cares about each other then i dont think there is a problem because it's ur life the decision towards ur liofe should of urs.But u should be sure that u really cares about eachother.
thank you

> 60 days ago

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Gookers writes:

Do what the expert said about writing down questions and having your bf answer them then showing your mom. Also have a detail conversation with your mom about how much you like this guy and why you do. Tell her you are for sure he has changed his path for good and is really trying 100% to be a better person. You need to do this slowly though and ease her into it...don't rush it! I hope you and your bf are very happy together and that your mom can tell that by your actions towards one another. Good luck and stay strong. Keep trying and never EVER give up hope!..that is the worst thing you can do even if it seems hopeless that she wont except who you like.

> 60 days ago

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