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GyuKim
GyuKim asks:
Q:

Part 2: Over 3 months isolation punishment for 2nd grader

I'm the daddy who wrote 'Over 3 months isolation punishment for 2nd grader' a few days ago.

On last meeting with the teacher, here is what she said: "Your son's behavior problem affects his academic development. He cannot get to 3rd grade. Why don't you put him in self contained class? The class is so nice." My son won gold medal for math last year. He calls him as the Math Master. Yes, his crying, yelling, showing anger to teacher in the class were absolutely wrong. But, they set the stage up to make him hurt. I wrote a letter to the teacher saying that she is angry with the baby with a needle on his back. Nowadays, my son does not bother any other friends anymore. He said that nobody in his class likes him. He also said that even the girl who he lent a pencil and an eraser to did not say thank you to him. He also said that everybody hates him.

My son's English tutor (teacher licensed) is saying that my son's English skill is better than average 2nd graders. Nowadays he is reading the 43 book series of Magic Tree House. He loves to read. On his math, he is better than average 2nd graders. I believe that the teacher made her decision based on my son's behavior problem in the class and that makes me more sad because she is the person who made his stage upside down.

Do I have to demand an independent evaluation test for him?

Please share your wisdom.
 
Gyu, Poor daddy from NYC
In Topics: My child's growth and development, My Relationship with my child's school, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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informedparent
informedpar... writes:
Poor daddy, does your son have any kind of formal plans in place? IEP, IAP etc?
> 60 days ago

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informedparent
informedpar... writes:
Also what state are you in?
> 60 days ago

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brikronemer
brikronemer writes:
Hello, my name is sabrina. I read your story and question. I would actually suggust that since your son is also still very young, and has improved alot already, maybe letting him go and stay exactly where he is at for a bit longer to see if things may change before demanding an independent evaluation test. I think a few weeks of sitting down and talking with him over things maybe that would help as well. My nephew is 12 years old and when he was 4 he had the same problems.... well. mostly similar to your son, and my sister had let it go a little longer and sat with him to speak to him to get him to understand everything and he improved alot.
> 60 days ago

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JamielaIsmail
JamielaIsmail , Teacher writes:
the one person that a child loves is his / her teacher.  this teacher has obviously decided what was best for your son despite that he won the maths award.  the teacher is at error here and i think that you should take her to task and speak to the principal.  if principal does not help, then the school board.  this teacher has issues and the fact that your son is doing well, she does not like to be shown that she is wrong about him.  you continue your extra tuition and let him build that relation with his tutor.  in the meantime you set the boundaries and work on his emotional challenges and just provide the positive environment and support that you as a parent can give.  i wish you both well.
> 60 days ago

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mistybeers
mistybeers writes:
My son was having the same issues. I requested that he be tested for ADD & ADHD. Come to find out he was ADHD. At first I did not want to put him on meds but it came to a point that I did not have a choose. He is now been recognized as a gifted child for education, excepted into the gifted and talented program in his school and is going to be in the elight (college prep courses) next year. He is actually a third grader but is able to complete fifth and sixth grade work with no problems.

So what I am trying to say is that more than likely he is bored in school and is acting out to get the attention thinking he is going to get some where. And yes the behavior can transfer to home also. Cause I thought  he is not bored at home so why do I have the behavior problems. The way it was explained to be is that he felt that no one was listening to him and he was angry.
> 60 days ago

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Dunlaykob89
Dunlaykob89 writes:
Dear Poor Daddy,

When a child doesn't behave in the classroom, grades no longer matter. It sounds like your child is disruptive. As a parent, you need to take your child to a doctor to see if he might have special needs. He or she might require medication. You can't believe it is fair for every other child's learning to be compromised because your child cannot behave. Children tend to shun other children who do not follow rules. This sounds like what is happening with your child. Help him! Studies show that children with attention and behavior issues who aren't treated tend to self medicate later in life with drugs and alcohol.

From a teacher (12 years experience)
> 60 days ago

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JeyvinSmith
JeyvinSmith writes:
Does your son only behave this way when in the presence of this particular teacher? how does he behave at home? You sholud watch him carefully at home just to see how he interacts with the family, watch him also at the playground.  if he repeats the same behaviour hav ehim tested for any developmental disorder.  He was probably bored with teacher because he might be a gifted student and her contnt was just not exciting to him.
God bless.
> 60 days ago

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Gixia
Gixia writes:
Hello,

Your son sounds like a typical gifted child. Please, have him evaluated for giftedness before you do anything else. Schools have little or no knowledge of gifted children  and all they want is children that conform. They will try anything they can in terms of behavior managment, and they will want a diagnosis for your child in order to offer special education, but this might not be what your child needs.  

Listen to your child and trust him.
Good luck

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