Anonymous
asks:
Q:
Post traumatic Disorder or Separation Anxiety from recent divorce? Strategies needed while on the waiting list for counselling.
I have a nine year old daughter. She is an only child and very independent.
Her father and I have finalized our divorce this year. It was a very amicable separation and divorce. She visits with her father every other weekend. (Friday he picks her up from school at 3pm and keeps her until sunday at 12pm)
Not that her father is doing anything wrong...she just does not want to go. She calls me crying at least twice on the friday after school and before bed as well as twice on saturday and once sunday morning before she arrives home. Most times "sobbing" to the point that it is hard for her to talk. All she will tell me is that she misses me.
Now we have had another "trauma" that she has experienced.
We were recently in a tornado in the middle of August, while visiting my family in my home town. Our car was destroyed as well as my sister's home. Most of our small town was destroyed. Since this it seems my daughter is even more "attached" to me. She will not go to sleep overs, at friends or even a family members. As well, the situation with visiting her father continues. She expressed to me that she is afraid if something happens to me when she is not with me that she will have to live with her dad all the time. She has also become nervous about the weather, always asking questions if the forcast says rain or the sky is begining to look dark and stormy. I am unsure if this is trauma, anxieties or everything is just too much.
In Topics:
Physical Health, Children and stress
Her father and I have finalized our divorce this year. It was a very amicable separation and divorce. She visits with her father every other weekend. (Friday he picks her up from school at 3pm and keeps her until sunday at 12pm)
Not that her father is doing anything wrong...she just does not want to go. She calls me crying at least twice on the friday after school and before bed as well as twice on saturday and once sunday morning before she arrives home. Most times "sobbing" to the point that it is hard for her to talk. All she will tell me is that she misses me.
Now we have had another "trauma" that she has experienced.
We were recently in a tornado in the middle of August, while visiting my family in my home town. Our car was destroyed as well as my sister's home. Most of our small town was destroyed. Since this it seems my daughter is even more "attached" to me. She will not go to sleep overs, at friends or even a family members. As well, the situation with visiting her father continues. She expressed to me that she is afraid if something happens to me when she is not with me that she will have to live with her dad all the time. She has also become nervous about the weather, always asking questions if the forcast says rain or the sky is begining to look dark and stormy. I am unsure if this is trauma, anxieties or everything is just too much.
> 60 days ago
Answers (1)
I had the same thing happen to me as a child. My parents didnt have a good marriage or and by first grade we had moved out on my dad. by third grade the fighting finally stopped with the divorce. but i felt the same anxiety about my mom, going to school was hard, forced to see my dad was agonizing. At school it helped me i took a necklace of my moms and held it in my hand i felt like i had a piece of her. I still had sever anxiety but it did help me get through the day. Maybe you could skype with her so she can see your face before she goes to bed? Is your ex adamant about her visiting? can she maybe just visit him stead of staying over with him? I still remember that anxiety. I wouldnt do sleep overs either. You could do some relaxation techniques with her. I still suffer from sever anxiety and deep breathing, relaxing really helps, talking to her and validating her feelings, letting her contact you if she needs to but you also helping her relax. Telling her that you are ok and safe and nothing is wrong.
> 60 days ago
