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Brwneyedwonder
Brwneyedwon... , Parent asks:
Q:

How do i potty train my 3 and 1\2 year old

my 3 and1\2 year old refuses to go potty. Ive tried colors,rewards ive even tried putting her in underwear and all she does is hide to go potty in them. I dont know what else i can do. She always seems interested in the bathroom but not her potty. It just seems useless
In Topics: Physical Health, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Wayne Yankus
May 15, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

At this age she has been in physical control of bowel and bladder urges for some time.  It is a good idea to check with your pediatrician to be sure there is not an area of medical concern.

Next, this age group sometime "team trains" that is watching peers, or taking hints from nursery school teachers etc. Letting go of something that they perceive as theirs is alien to us but not to this age group.

Keep up the momentum and know that she will be trained.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics

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Additional Answers (4)

dgraab
dgraab , Parent writes:
Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your daughter. After trying so many different approaches, I can understand how you might be feeling completely frustrated at this point.

Have you talked with her pediatrician about it? Her doctor can help rule out (or discover and treat) any physical conditions that may be hindering the process, so you should discuss this at your next appointment or schedule one as soon as possible.

With our daughter, we also had a toilet training struggle when she was three. She too was interested in the bathroom (trying to climb onto the counter top, looking in drawers and cabinets, playing with toilet paper, etc.), but she also didn't have much interest in the toilet or using it.

Eventually though, with lots of encouragement (and a few leaks on the floor along the way), she began using her potty to go pee and was subsequently celebrated by mommy, daddy, grandma and friends for doing so (verbal praise, hugs & kisses, gifts, a switch to pull-up diapers with her favorite characters on them, etc.). We kept her in the pull-ups initially, because unfortunately she wouldn't go poo in the toilet (and when we pressed her about it, she regressed with the peeing too).

So, we were patient and stayed in the pull-ups for many more months. Then, right before she turned four, she saw other kids her age (her cousins and some close friends) use the toilet for poo, and that helped move her along in her own development. If they could do, she could do it, and sure enough, she eventually graduated to big girl panties.

I hope your little one finds her inspiration soon too, and also encourage you to talk with her doctor as soon as possible. In the meantime, below is a link to Education.com's information center on potty training, which has a variety of expert articles on this topic.

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princess_diana
princess_di... writes:
Hi.
well let her see you do it every time you go to the bath room take her.I
know it seem kind of odd but let her know mommy do it to so she can get use to the potty and dont force her and maybe try to put her on the tolet. or make her sit on the potty for like an hour with out getting up she may cry no parnet want to see there kids cry but it will work
> 60 days ago

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edieness
edieness writes:
It is not useless.  I have a child like that she just did not care about the mess in her pants.  One day i set my mind to it that I was going to get my child potty trained.  The first couple of days i sware my toddler peed the pants about 5 times every hour.  after i finally accomplished the potty training method i decided to write an article on what i did in hopes to help others with small children that are difficult to potty train.  here is the link to the article. http://www.infobarrel.com/Potty_Train_A_Toddler_in_a_Week
hope it helps.

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ilovechefwilliam
ilovechefwi... , Teacher, Caregiver writes:
I have never potty trained a girl, but I have potty trained boys :)  I teach children with autism.  In my bathroom I have a bucket of toys that are only bathroom toys.  If the child sits on the potty I allow them to play with one of the toys.  At first I also try to flood them with fluids.  As soon as the child goes they get a big reward.  Some of my students enjoy watching a balloon blow up and others enjoy watching a special movie.  When I first start "potty scheduling" I also take them every 15 minutes and document if it was successful or not.

Good Luck!
> 60 days ago

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