Hi! I am from India, where if you don't get marks, you are nothing. Till last year, I used to be a topper. I do other things too apart from from studies such as taking basket ball coaching, learning classical music and dance and drawing lessons. But since this year has started, the workload has increased tremendously. Thinking that I am not studying enough, it was decided I go to Math and Science tuitions. And so I've become stuck in quicksand. I just can't manage it. I used to be one of those few who had everything finished in time but now I don't have any work completed at all. Everyone is getting ahead of me but I can't help it. Schoolwork along with tuition work is impossible. Even if I study the whole day without break I won't be able to complete it. So I have done what cowards do. Given up everything. I don't even try to make it better and I don't know how to go about it. It is killing me from inside. I don't know who I am any longer. I just know that I hate myself. My parents will be very sad to know all this. But, I am not open to anyone else in this world and so I am completely blank.
Are you still super busy with activities, because as much as you may not want to cut those things out,it sounds like it may be necessary just for you to succeed. Also you may have to pick and choose the things that you decide to focus on. If certain subjects come easily to you, then maybe you spend less time on those and more on the ones you are struggling with. Do what you can and be pleased with yourself when you accomplish something. Start with just one thing. If you try to do it all at once, it will be too overwhelming.
You are not a coward. You are not a failure. You are struggling. And that's okay! We all struggle at times and with everything you had on your plate, we can certainly understand why you would have the instinct to shut down. Fight that and keep trucking. You can do it!
Please take care and remember that you can call the Boys Town National Hotline 24 hours a day at the number below, free of charge. We are here to help, you are not alone!