My question is why wasnt I allowed to have a third party in a meeting at my son's school?
My husband and i had a meeting at our son's school,and before the meeting I asked my son's Principal,can my son's Grandmother come into the meeting we were about to have because she has input on the matter we were trying to handle and also she has seen some of the things I am trying to report to her because she has even reported the same issues herself and she told me no.I asked her may I ask why she told me no again I said why not explain it to me,she said because i said so.My question is did she have the right to deny me that?
It does seem unusual that you would not be able to have your son's grandmother at a meeting; however, policies differ in different school districts in different states. It does sound like this decision was at the principal's discretion, and it is possible that in your school system/district there is a policy that gives a principal has this power. At this point, who does have the ultimate power to make such a decision is unclear. Therefore, it remains unclear if she had the right to deny your request. In any case, if there is a policy that does not allow a parent to bring a supportive third party to a meeting, you may want to know about that. And you have a right to know.
What you may want to do at this point if you decide to follow up, or if you decide to have another meeting with a third party of your choosing, is to call the office of your school superintendent and speak to the person who would know if such a policy exists. This might be someone in the role of an assistant superintendent, a curriculum coordinator, or the superintendent him/herself. You can inquire about policy, or officially place a complaint if you wish.
In some districts, especially in small ones, it may be helpful to contact a member of the school board to discuss your problem.
If the meeting went well, you may decide to do nothing. However, a taxpaying citizen has the right to empower himself/herself and take things to another level, especially when dealing with the well being of a child.
It might be a privacy matter. I know that at the daycare I worked at we were not allowed to give out information to anyone other than the parents for strict confidentiality reasons.
Even if the grandparent dropped off the child, we were not supposed to discuss concerns outside of the immediate immediate family. But this was clearly stated in our handbook.