Romerr asks:

How to react to a 16 year old grandson destroying property when he feels he has upset someone? Tonight he threw and jumped on a big screen TV because he'd upset me.

My 16 year old grandson played basketball with some friends this f.m. and forgot his earphones only remembering it around 9:30 tonight.  I didn't want him going the far distance it would have been in a neighborhood we are unfamiliar with and it being dark.  

I told him not to go, but if he did he was disobeying me.  His reaction was the above and he said that if he thinks he's upset someone it makes him mad to think he's upset someone and his reaction was also a reaction to the sadness, seemingly a paradox.

This isn't the first time he's done such a thing and I'm almost to the point to having him removed.  He's had to stay in a group home and foster care in the past.  His parents and his two siblings (13 & 8) live with me and my spouse, and have done so since his birth.  I love him dearly but I'm 64 and have had 3 heart attacks, one just after one of his destructive behavior.  

I love him but think I might die from the stress.  The 3 boys were with only me and we trumped up as an accident rather than tell his parents and my wife.  I'm not his biological grandfather and what more can be expected of me?
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Mar 1, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Sorry to hear about your health and yes, you are right, stress is not good for you.  Your grandson is old enough to know how to react to stress in an acceptable.  If he has been destructive for a while you should consult with his pediatrician for a referral to see a therapist.  

Best regards.
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Additional Answers (1)

linda.theap... writes:
It appears that your grandson is acting out.  My son has done the same.  When he destroys something he has to pay for it.  Also, he had a complete evaluation including psychological testing.  He was determined to be severely depressed and placed on medication.  Although medication isn't for everyone, it helped tremendously in his case.
If this does not work for your grandson, I wouldn't worry about having him removed.  My son was similarly placed in a group home for a while.  We went to visit him on weekends, and our relationship actually improved quite a bit!
> 60 days ago

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