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aggressivevictimsmom
aggressivev... asks:
Q:

After reading this article, I'm convinced that my son is a classic example of the agressive victim. What do I do?

My son has suspended from school for hitting kids who bullied him. He hates his school, teacher and those kids bully him everyday. He doesn't even talk to his teacher because he doesn't like her. She's a bully too toward my son. His teacher diogmosed him Ashberger's Autism!!! What do I need to do? Help?

Question asked after reading: http://www.education.com/reference/article/kind...
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
May 21, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Teachers are not the ones who should diagnose somebody with something like Asperger's, that should be done by a professional.  If you are uncomfortable with her making this diagnosis, it may be worth it to take your child to a child pscyhologist and get a proper diagnosis or even no diagnosis.  It is inappropriate to label a child with something such as that if it has not been professionally done.  We hope you can take an action on this.

Aggressive victims are hard because we all can certainly understand why they react the way that they do.  They don't want to be pushed around and don't know how else to handle the storm of emotions that can come along with interacting with others.  Try and help your child, first off, identify when he is beginning to feel angry.  This emotion identification can then help him stop and think before he begins acting out in negative ways.  Also discuss with him the consequences that come with acting out violently.  What price does he pay for that?  Does that solve any of his problems?  How will it be for him in the future if he continues to use this to solve his problems?  After exploring this, than come up with replacement behaviors for his violent actions.  Walking away, deep breathing, finding a friend or a teacher, singing a song in his head, or saying stop clearly and directly without moving can all be helpful.  Practice them and set up scenarios for him to prepare for.  

If he continues to act out, regular therapy with a child counselor or pscyhologist may help him refine these skills.  It's great you are looking to get help with this!

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Please take care and remember that you can call the Boys Town National Hotline 24 hours a day at the number below, free of charge to discuss any parenting issue.  We are here to help, you are not alone!

Counselor, NZ

Boys Town National Hotline-A Resource for Parents and Teens
www.parenting.org
1-800-448-3000


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Additional Answers (2)

StinasMami
StinasMami writes:
if you have anything in writing take it to the school district. 1 a teacher is not qualified to diagnose a child with anything even if they work in special education only your child's doctor can diagnose your child. 2 teacher is labeling your child and using that label as a way of educating and disciplining your son. check to see what your schools/districts policy on bullying is and take that to the district as well. the principal should be handling this bully issue as most schools and district are zero tolerance policy for bullying. I work for a school district and our schools are all zero tolerance it still happens but there are harsh disciplinary actions taken to stop this. you can also file a complaint against the teacher, principal, any other staff member, and in some district the students directly. Go to your districts website and learn their policies. its very time consuming but its better if you go in there knowing what you are talking about instead of going in there on emotions. Hope this helps you out and I'm sorry that this happened to you and your son. remember to tell him that not all teachers or staff members are cruel most really do care about the kids they work with.
> 60 days ago

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elizabethlute
elizabethlute writes:
people diagnose others anyways. why dont you surprise her and hire a p.i if you could afford it. and see what's going. maybe there's more to it than what your son cant put into words.
> 60 days ago

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