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ihatemyself108
ihatemyself... asks:
Q:

Am i ready to have sex?

Im not sure if im ready to have a sexual relationship with my boyfriend i mean i really want to but i think that after we have had sex he will just leave me and im not sure if im mature enough yet someone help me !!!!????
In Topics: Teen issues, Teen sexuality and dating
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Apr 18, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

You sound very wise.  You point out that you WANT to have sex but you have a lot of worries regarding your relationship.  Those things that are worrying you -- your boyfriend leaving you, not being mature enough -- are absolutely right.  In fact, grown adults who have sex with their boyfriends and girlfriends can make a mess of their relationships just by introducing that factor.  Sex makes things more intense in a relationship, and that includes an intense heartbreak.  Save yourself the regret, and wait until you're in a good, stable relationship.

MKM, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (13)

purityspring
purityspring writes:
Dear Young Lady,

I think if you are still asking the question, that would be a strong reason to wait. My daughter struggled with this decision for some time. I would suggest that you find an adult that you can trust (I was very fortunate that my daughter trusted me & talked with me about this before hand) and speak with that adult about the seriousness of the decision you make. My thought is that you have to be willing to give your life over to the person you are thinking about have physical relations with. Keep in mind, even if you use protection, protection can and does fail - leading to possible unplanned pregnancy and STD's, including the HIV virus which is where I get the "giving your life" from.
Bottom line, I think you need to think about this decision longer & you definitely need to rethink your screen name - it should be wonderfulyounglady!

I hope I have been of some assistance!
purityspring
> 60 days ago

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LouiseSattler
LouiseSattler , Child Professional writes:
Hello and thank you for being brave and honest enough to ask a tough question here on Education.com.

In my humble opinion, if you are having doubts then YOU are not ready.  Any boyfriend who has a healthy respect for you will abide by your wishes and continue in your relationship.  If he bails, then you will have no regrets as to have been intimate with a person who did not fully respect you. Also, I see that your name is "IHateMyself".. please feel consider taking the time to talk with a counselor about this serious issue and any other that is making you feel badly.  

Also, if you do decide to become involved, please take all precautions to be safe and healthy.

I wish you well regardless of your decision.
> 60 days ago

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CBrimmer
CBrimmer writes:
If you aren't sure you aren't ready. Any guy worth having will wait. Right now things are scary (trust me been there) but the future is what's important. As a teen there are so many options for you on where your life will go. Please don't do what I did and let so many opportunities pass you by. I got married at 18 and never did I regret anything more. I am now 25 and on my second marriage. Thankfully I did find someone worth having the second time around and everything worked out, I have my education and several degrees and a wonderful family, but in the early days it was easy to seem like it wasn't even worth trying to live anymore. Please consider YOU before any guy, no matter how great he seems, you have to live with you forever, do whats best for your future.
> 60 days ago

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swaggasaur
swaggasaur writes:
if you are ready . wax on wax off
> 60 days ago

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jasmine...
jasmine... writes:
i dont no how old u are but i do think u should wait
ie is your dission but you can get relly bad dissise
so good luck love jasmine
> 60 days ago

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bineyser
bineyser , Student writes:
how old are you. i mean don't think that he's going to do that.
> 60 days ago

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hollow
hollow writes:
no he won't
> 60 days ago

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yehudawieder
yehudawieder writes:
don't till u know that he has a real commitment to stay with you for life
> 60 days ago

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betchinycalixte
betchinycal... writes:
i'll if u want bb !!!!!!
> 60 days ago

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betchinycalixte
betchinycal... writes:
me tooo
> 60 days ago

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Linda78
Linda78 writes:
Don't do it! You sounds too young to get emotionally involved and if doesn't like it then you were not meant to be with him.
> 60 days ago

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Gookers
Gookers writes:
I agree about you saying you are not mature enough because to be 100% honest you aren't. Yes sex is something i also want to do but if you think this boy will leave you after you guys do it..open your eyes..he is TOTALLY not worth it!! Plus you are genna met SO many more boys in high school and in college..how do you know this boy is the one or if you guys will get married? I think you should wait and you are a very very smart girl who thinks about things before doing them. I highly respect you for that and you seem like a great person! Don't let one boy make you become insecure or think badly of yourself. You deserve number ONE not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5 and so on! Think about all your options..do you really want to have sex? do you really think this is the guy you'll marry? I think you should save your body for the right guy who means the world to you, respects you, and doesn't want to get into your pants like this guy your with seems to.
> 60 days ago

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fast-cameron
fast-cameron writes:
no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 60 days ago

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