I wonder if you have had a conversation with your husband about your children's special needs?  If not, or even if you have had some discussion already, it might be time to talk about how he feels about having them around, and how their presence changes the nature of your relationship with each other.  Blending children from a previous marriage is nearly always challenging in some ways.  Your children bring some special dimensions to the blending process.  If their behavior is very challenging for you to manage, then I would try to sit down with your ex-husband and make sure the rules for each household are as similar as possible.  If the behavior is still difficult, then you might want to consider talking to your pediatrician or family doctor either for their advice or for a referral to a counselor.  The bottom line is that your husband married YOU! You and he are the team that needs to work together to make the family situation work for everyone.  This will take communication and compromise, but your sensitivity to the situation is definitely a good sign!

Jeanne H. Brockmyer, Ph. D.
education.com expert clinical child psychologist