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EDUCATIONIS... asks:
Q:

What do I do if my 13 year old daughter is having sex with an 18 year old man?

In Topics: Teen sexuality and dating
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Wayne Yankus
May 11, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

The 18 year old man is an adult and your daughter is a minor.  First, establish that your daughter is safe. Do you know this man? Speak to her doctor or medical home to help with the social, medical and emotional issues of what has possibly happened or continues to happen. Speak to her and find out if this is a sexual relationship and find out if this was forced upon her.

Next, you are her mother.  Establish and reinforce how you feel about this.  Enlist support. Get the help of her female relatives, school nurse, guidance counselor and father to explain boundaries.

Finally, set the rules. Talk with your daughter (not necessarily to her) and find out why this seems important.  Is she a victim?  Is this gang related?  What is it that makes her seek older companionship? You may need to seek intervention through your medical home for her understanding and safety.

This is important and I am pleased you asked and are concerned.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics




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Additional Answers (3)

LouiseSattler
LouiseSattler , Child Professional writes:
Please speak to a counselor in your daughter's school district or a social worker.  I am not a legal expert, however I believe that this relationship can be considered illegal in many states due to age disparity.  A school social-worker or counselor will be able to guide you to legal statutes, counseling centers for your family and help your daughter with seeing the vast discrepancy between she and her partner.

I am afraid that this will not be an easy road.  It could become legally messy, but the safety and welfare of your child is ultimately what is at stake.

Best of luck.

Louise Masin Sattler, NCSP
> 60 days ago

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Loddie1
Loddie1 , Parent writes:
Call the police and have him arrested. She is a minor and he is considered an adult that should know better than to feed off the innocence of your child. I would pursue this full force!
> 60 days ago

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New'New
New'New , Student writes:
Need to let her know WHAT IS WRONG FROM Right tell her that it no okay he is wayyy to old to be with her also let her know that she has so much ahead of her don't waste on someone that is only going to hurt her in the end. Laid it down Nup it in the Bud Now or she will keep thinking at it is ok to have these kind of relationships!
> 60 days ago

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