Get help. You deserve assistance from your school in the form of evaluation to provide the least restrictive educational experience. Go for a child study team evaluation. Ask your special services people to weigh in on how to help at home with homework etc...
Then ask your pediatrician for community agencies that provide family care for these situations. Many such agencies provide care for free or on a sliding scale for families. If you have insurance and it will cover ADHD therapy, ask for a behaviorist such as a pediatrician who specializes in ADHD care.
Finally, go to a CHAD meeting in town. Your hospital community relations department can tell you where the meetings are. They are on line as well. CHAD is for parents of children with ADHD and discusses just the issues you are so boldly facing alone as a single parent.
Good luck, but these resources are available to you in your community.
Wayne A. Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics
I understand. I went through this with my son who is also ADHD. In fact it is the very reason I became a teacher. First of all, don't let the schools make you feel quilty. For years, I felt like a failure. All conferences with teachers were discouraging. I felt like they were pointing a finger at me and saying I was a bad parent. They indicated that my son was just lazy. That is not the truth. If your son is on medication talk to the doctor. I had my son on ritalin for years, and never felt like it did anything to help him. Finally, we moved and I got a new family doctor. He tried several other meds and eventually we found that concerta was what worked for him. Once he got on this med. There was a complete difference in his behavior and ability to learn. I wish that I had pushed my doctor years before to try other meds. I didnt know.
Also, depending on the state you live in, there are laws to help protect your child at school and make sure he gets the support he needs. Talk to the school counselor and ask about an IEP plan or a 504 plan. These require teachers to make accomodations for your sons learning difficulties. They can include things like preferential seating. Repeating of directions or other things that will help your son do better in school. If they tell you that being ADHD does not qualify your child for extra services, go to the district office and ask. If they still say no, email the state department of education. I do not believe that any state doesn't have some kind of accomodations for students with ADHD.
Originally, I lived in Oregon, and they told me that ADHD students did not qualify. I now know better. I wish I could go back to that year and fight for the rights of my son.
Remember, you are the advocate for your son. Do not give up, and don't get discouraged. As a parent, teachers forget that you are doing your best everyday, and you would do anything to help your child succed.
I have a friend who has a daughter that has a ADHD and OCD. She has quite a stressful time with her. One thing I would suggest is try a gluten free diet. Gluten tends to aggrevate this condition. Also, if you are stay at home mom, you may want to consider homeschooling. Stimulus aggrevates the condition too. The reason is the child ADHD is trying to absorb everything at one time. In turn, causes a very frustrated child. So limiting the amount of people and activities is vital. Avoid sugars and refined foods. Try a detox for chidlren. You may be able to get this at your local health food store. Good luck
I understand what you are going through. It IS very difficult being the parent of a child with ADHD. Just keep reminding yourself that your child can't help it. He doesn't choose to have ADHD or act the way he acts. A child with ADHD lives only in the present. There is no future and there is no past. This is why very often negative consequences do not work. Keep your cool. Stay calm. And always stay positive. There are so many wonderful books on parenting and ADHD. These can give you a lot of insight and information as well as parenting tips. Also check on line for a local CHADD group. These are support groups for parents and they have monthly meetings, lectures, guest presenters, conferences, etc. It is a very good idea to belong to this group.
A nutritionist can be extremely helpful. Diet is a key to many problems. I suggest watching particularly sugars and preservatives and stay clear of sugar drinks. Also, ADD can often be a result of eyes not working correctly (eye convergence and tracking) and our brains not picking up correct information from what our eyes are telling us. Also, depending on how old your child is, forms of dyslexia can be associated and look like ADD. Emotionally, something may be bothering your child as well, resulting in behavior that is not allowing him/her to relax. You sound like you need support as well. It is tough to be a single parent. Check with your local church or school on an informative parenting class. THese classes can be great support and a great way to find out information. Best of luck to you.