samani0o
asks:
Q:
My little sister is cutting and puking, some advise?
Hi,today I found out my lil sis (17 y/o) is cutting herself, or at least experimenting with it. I've never noticed any marks before so Im guessing this is the first time. I know she pukes sometimes (she doesn't hide the evidence very well), but she doesn't know I know that. Also, I scroll through her tumblr sometimes (again she doesn't know I know), and she posts and reblogs all these self-loathing things. As soon as I saw the marks today, I confronted her. I asked: Are you cutting yourself. She got all vague and smiley and jumped up to run an errand for my mom. When she came back I asked her again. She said: I don't want to talk about it. She didn't seem upset or angry. I left it at that.
Though she seems like a happy go lucky girl, with lots of friends and she confides a lot in me, I know that maybe in her head she is in a dark place, which is kinda normal for somebody her age. With the puking, from what I can tell, she's still in a stage where she can talk herself out of it. I think she only does it because she's doubting herself. But with the cutting, it has me more concerned. I'm afraid if she continues to do the above her whole self image is going to be so twisted and she'll be in that place she can't get out of on her own. She already told me she wanted to talk to a therapist because of our home situation and fights with my mom. But maybe I can encourage her to go and talk about this stuff as well? My mom doesn't about any of it and I'm not sure how to handle it.. :(
Though she seems like a happy go lucky girl, with lots of friends and she confides a lot in me, I know that maybe in her head she is in a dark place, which is kinda normal for somebody her age. With the puking, from what I can tell, she's still in a stage where she can talk herself out of it. I think she only does it because she's doubting herself. But with the cutting, it has me more concerned. I'm afraid if she continues to do the above her whole self image is going to be so twisted and she'll be in that place she can't get out of on her own. She already told me she wanted to talk to a therapist because of our home situation and fights with my mom. But maybe I can encourage her to go and talk about this stuff as well? My mom doesn't about any of it and I'm not sure how to handle it.. :(
Member Added on Aug 9, 2012
In Topics:
Teen issues, Cutting, Eating disorders
> 60 days ago
What the Expert Says:
Additional Answers (2)
As hard as it might be. Tell your Mom, tell an aunt, grandmother, father...someone you trust. Someone she trusts. She needs help. This type of self harm isn't just a phase...it can quickly escalate to deeper and more hurtful issues. Please get help soon.
Resources:
> 60 days ago
Sounds like a scream for help to me. I'd contact my school counselor and ask for the names of some really good counselors. If you are not comfortable doing that perhaps you could pick a teacher you trust and ask them if they know a good youth counselor. Cutting is not something that will go away on its own. She has ask for a therapist so it sounds as if she knows this is something she can not handle on her own. Please help her find a professional to help her. Mom, especially since she will probably be the one to pay for counseling, should be told. Perhaps you could convince your sister to tell your mom and perhaps if you talk with mom first she will have time to get over the shock and be prepared to see that this is where your sister is now and she'd be better able to make plans to get her where your sister wants to be. Good luck. You have a very lucky sister.
> 60 days ago
Thank you all for answering. I know this is serious. I do think she'll have to be the one to eventually tell my mother she wants therapy (/why she wants it.) She trusts me with a lot of stuff and if I'm the one telling my mother, I think she'd take it as betrayal, and that would just push her away from me and probably more into that dark place. So, yeah, I think when the moment is there I'll start up the conversation and I'll try to encourage her to go see a therapist.
Again, thank you all for answering. Bless you.