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Anonymous
Anonymous asks:
Q:

Smart, cute, funny 8 y.o. boy who can't make friends

My son can't seem to make friends. He doesn't seem to connect with kids. He doesn't feel like kids like him much. I observe that he doesn't 'connect' with kids. He is bright and funny but seems like a duck out of water with kids. He tries to connect, wants to connect but just doesn't seem to be able to. He has only 5 boys in his class and he says none of them really want to play with him. We have no kids in the neighborhood his age. There are a few older boys who are into sports-which my son is not. There are a few girls but they don't want to play with him and seem very clickish. This is having a very negative affect on him and is breaking my heart. Sometimes he cries at night about this. I often cry in my bed about this. His father is rather indifferent to the issue. I have tried to help by joining summer sports, coaching teams, joining cubscouts etc. I'm am so broken up about this. Nothing is worse for a kid than feeling left out or unliked and nothing is more painful for a parent to see this happening. Any advice beyond joining stuff--which we've done to no avail. Anyoe been through this and it got better for them? I need something to hope for. Thanks
In Topics: Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago

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Expert

EdieRaether
May 14, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

I agree. Seeing her child challenged with emotional issues like this are tough as there is no band aid to cover the pain.  First, having him in structured group activities which you are doing is right on. Kids and people in general love hanging around confident people so in a sense it is a vicious cycle, but he can get on the upside of this.  
Do role playing with him and model how he might respond or invite himself in.
Role reversal is helpful as well where he actually plays out the role of others.  
This is more tangible than just talking about it and is more effective.  
I will tell you what else will help....I promise!!!   I have developed a character building program for children and it has an inspiring story but even more, it has a CD with guided imagery exercises with one of them being to be more like Gustav the Goat who is confident and courageous.  The messages go into a deeper level or the wise mind.   It is powerful and have used it with clients for decades.  
Go to www.wingsforwishes.com.  We are switching online store servers so if you can't order it online just call or email me and will get it to you.  It also plants seeds of greatness etc and facilitates healthy life choices.  It will make a difference.  
Let me know how it goes.
Edie
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Additional Answers (3)

Sarpax
Sarpax writes:
Socialization in some children can be very difficult.  I have a 13 year old who has special needs and has a huge problem making friends because of his socialization skills and I have a gifted 12 year old boy who can't make friends because he takes everything to literal and can be rude and tell someone that what they're saying just isn't logical.  I have a chat forum for parents of special needs children and self esteem is next weeks topic.  From the research I've done self esteem seems to be connected to socialization skills.  www.snparentalsupport.proboards.com
> 60 days ago

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Red2
Red2 writes:
Hi Anonymous, My 6 year old son is going through the same issues. He is extremely iintelligent, talks nonstop at home but has a hard time connectinng with other kids in school. It breaks my heart when he says the other kids don't play with him and do mot want to be his friend. Trying to sign him up for sports and cubscouts hasn't helped much either. I had a talk with his school counsellor and she's scheduled for a behavior specialist to observe him in a classroom setting. I also plan on enrolling him in a social skills group. Making an appointment with a child psychologist is also on my list.  I wish you lived in Dallas, our kids could play together! Good luck toyou and your son.
> 60 days ago

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lousa
lousa writes:
My daughter sounds just like your son. She is 9 and an only child. At home she seems so normal and sweet with a fantastic sense of humour, but at school she just can't seem to socialise properly and can't make friends. She has even made up stories about having friends so that I won't know she doesn't. Very sad.  It is such a worry, because you want them to be happy. I try to discuss how she is feeling and we try to think of reasons why it is that she is battling with friendships. I have spoken to her teacher who is trying to facilitate some relationships. If nothing works, I think I will have to send her for some therapy to try and get to the bottom of the problem. Feel so sorry for her as she has so much to offer. I hope you are able to overcome your son's issues and that he finds some other kids to form a bond with.
27 days ago

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