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abuahmad54
abuahmad54 asks:
Q:

What to do about my 22 months old son who is hitting his younger sister?

My  22 month old son now has starting to beat his younger sister who is only one month old .
when he see her alone he hit him very hard and he want that no one hug her .
he want to be loved one of every one specially his mother even he feel jealousy when he saw her to be feed.
So at last my wife start to beat him but i am not understand at her behavior.

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges, Parenting siblings
> 60 days ago

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Expert

lkauffman
Apr 30, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

This sounds like a very difficult situation, and I imagine it must be tough to see your family struggling.

As you think about ways to teach your son to be kinder to his sister, please know that each time you discipline him (whether for aggression toward his sister or some other situation), you are "teaching" him something. It is understandable that your wife is scared for her baby and frustrated with your son's behavior, but she is effectively sending the message that physical aggression is acceptable if she strikes him. Also, it is very important that you understand that, in some countries (like the U.S.) hitting children is not acceptable and against the law. It is against the law because hitting a child is considered to be very harmful to a child. Even if hitting a child is not against the law in your country, it is important that you and wife learn better ways to teach your son to behave with his sister, so he doesn't think that physical aggression is acceptable by anyone.

Although it may be very difficult, it is important that you and your wife spend time with your son in a positive and warm situation without his sister involved. It is important for your son to understand that you and your wife still love him very much and, although a new baby is in the home, your love for him has not changed. Children do best when they feel that their parents love them totally and unconditionally. When he feels this love, he will be more settled and secure. Thus, your job is to reassure him that he is an important part of the family and well-loved. When he feels secure, he will no longer feel so threatened by his baby sister's presence.

Laura Kauffman, Ph.D.
Licensed Child Psychologist
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