I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing with your son. Here are some resources you may find helpful...

A Preschool Behavior Survival Guide
http://www.education.com/magazine/article/preschool-behavior-survival-guide/

Another JustAsk Q (w/ expert response): What do I do? My 4 years old is driving me crazy!
http://www.education.com/question/do-4-year-driving-crazy/

The Fantastic Four Year Old
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Fantastic_Four_Year/

The Preschool Years (Ages 4 and 5): What Happens Developmentally?
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Preschool_Years_ages/

Activities for Social Development: Four to Five Years
http://www.education.com/reference/article/activities-social-development-four-five/

The Discipline Tool Kit: Successful Strategies for Every Age
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Discipline_Tool_Kit/

Preschool Practice: Shapes and Colors!
http://www.education.com/magazine/article/practice-preschool-shapes-colors/

Dealing with Separation Anxiety
http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Dealing_with_Separation_Anxiety/

Good luck - I hope these resources above make a positive difference for you and your son!

Don't let him say no to u don't let him do the things he likes

I have exactly the same problem. My son DOES NOT LISTEN. I have even gone as far to take him to the hospital to have his ears and hearing checked ..... all of which are prefect. Its so hard. I will ask him to do something - he ignores, his teachers will ask him to do something - he ignores AND he is even going as far to ask to go to the toilet now, when the teacher asks him to do something that he doesnt want, after ignoring the first few trys. I cannot understand why he is going this. He has nearly got lost and nearly run his scooter in the road because he was not listening to instructions. And yes it is driving me potty too - Just thought i would let you know ur not alone in this..... and i i get anywhere, i will let you know.

Dear anonymous.  I hear what your saying.  Energetic 4 year old boys are hard to handle sometimes.  I homeschool and recently I went to a homeschooling meeting and the topic was how am I smart.  It touched on the 8 diff ways that kids learn.  It sounds to me that your son with his love of sports may be the body smart type.  He needs to move and be involved physically with learning.  Also the color thing may be that hes color blind I would have him checked out by your pediatricain.  I would not worry to much about that though. The biggest advice I can give you is find a way to help him get out his energy physically with his school work.  For example learning his colors could be as easy as playing hopscotch.  Fill in the squares with diff colors and ask him to hop to the different ones.  This will also help you to take notes as to what colors he struggles with.  I hope this helps!

Check if he/she is having any hearing problems.  It can be as simple as some ear wax need to be cleared or so, but still would help to rule that out.  This is what we are going through now.  This can be the reason that they are not listening.

Dear Anonymous
Routine and structure are important to children.  I think that you need to take your rightful place as the adult in charge.  Ground rules must be laid down - you tell him what is expected and what the consequences will be should he not listen.  

Make a routine chart.  This must have pictures and a clock to it so that he can see what he must do for the day/after school to bedtime.  

Draw up a behavior chart and explain to him that he will get a star for each day he has followed all the rules and his good behavior.  When he has 5 stars for the week, then he is allowed a small toy of his choice. No good behavior - no star.  There are no half stars.  He is either good or he is not!  

Be brief.  Make instructions short.  Carry out the punishment - do not make idle threats. Let him be aware that you mean business!  Naughty behavior depending on the degrees you set out for him gets 15 minutes on a chair called the naughty chair.  

Praise him for good behavior.  Explain to him that it is the behavior that you don't like and that you still love him.  This behavior modification takes 21 days to set in and it will mean that everybody in the house has to be consistent in their manner of dealing with the problems.  To have carry over from the home to the school, speak to the teacher.  Lots of hard work and dedication from you and the family will be needed and do not give in to his tantrums.

I wish you well.