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4sons
4sons asks:
Q:

My son's 4th grade teacher used the word "annoying" in referring to my son in our conference. Is it just me or is this very telling?

He plays with his hair when concentrating.  Her exact words (after I said that he has done that since he is little) was,"yes, he is annoying"...not "it" or "the habit is".   I was visibly shocked.  She sensed my discomfort and then said, "you know what I mean".   I replied that I didn't. With that, the next conference came to the door, and the subject changed.  (My son has said from he start of the year that his teacher dislikes him.  I've tried to be objective and convince him otherwise.)  She definitely focuses on what needs improvement and will never freely offer positive comments.
In Topics: Working with my child's teacher(s), My Relationship with my child's school
> 60 days ago

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carrie5215
carrie5215 writes:
This is a tough one because on the one hand, children need to learn that not everyone will like them but they still need to work with them.  On the other hand, I find this teacher to be completely unprofessional and should be called on what they said.  Maybe other parents have had similar incidents.  Talk with the teacher first and if you feel unsatified with the response, talk with the principal.
> 60 days ago

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AnnaY
AnnaY writes:
I agree.  You should talk to the teacher again and tell her how you are feeling and what your son said about her.  It's possible that there was a miscommunication.  
It is also true that your son needs to learn that not everyone (including adults) is going to like him.  It's a fact of life.
However, the teacher spoke in an unprofessional manner and should apologize for it.  She probably meant that his habits are irritating and annoying, but she should not have said that HE was annoying.
So, talk to her about how you're feeling and what you're thinking.  Only after you feel you've made a good attempt to communicate with this teacher should you talk to the principal.
It is also important that you talk to your son about his habits.  Ask him why he thinks his teacher doesn't like him.  Maybe he has habits that are inappropriate for school and either doesn't realize he's doing them or doesn't realize they are inappropriate.
Although in all reality, playing with his hair while concentrating is a very small thing and as long as he's really thinking and doing his work, it shouldn't matter that he's doing it.  If it bothers other kids, he should try to stop it, but the teacher should also tell other kids to try to ignore it if it bothers them; life itsn't always easy and sometimes you have to deal with unpleasant things.
> 60 days ago

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