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kiranbala
kiranbala asks:
Q:

My son in 6th standard is very argumentative and we often argue because of his disinterest in studies.Help

He is intelligent and has a quick grasping power but is lazy and does not apply himself as he should.He also often gives illogical reasons for doing things and is great at procrastination.I work long hours and we barely have time to eat and study at night and this time we spend on fruitless arguments instead of finishing work quickly and getting some personal time together.
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Jul 27, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

Part of your son's frustration may in fact be that you don't spend enough time together.  It's possible that he's learned that if he argues about doing homework, he gets to spend more time with you.  What can you do to shorten your work day to spend more time together?  Or, what can you do to try to spend more quality time  with him during the weekends?  

Try sitting down with your son and spending some time talking about what he's been feeling lately.  Ask him why he gets so frustrated when it comes to doing homework.  Is it because he doesn't understand the material, because he has a hard time concentrating, or because he's simply too tired.  Every child's behaviors are sending a message.  By thinking about what message your son is trying to send, you can figure out how to help him.  Maybe he needs to be prompted about doing homework much earlier so he has time to prepare himself.  Maybe he's not getting enough sleep at night.  Think about all the possible factors before getting upset at him for not wanting to do it.

After talking to your son if you find that he is simply being lazy about it, then it's time to start issuing consequences for his refusal to do his homework.  Set clear expectations on what time his homework needs to be done.  Then tell him exactly what the consequences will be if his homework isn't complete by that time each night.  Be prepared to follow through with the consequences.  Hopefully you will see a change in his behavior fairly quickly after addressing the problem differently.

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Additional Answers (1)

CreativeRachna
CreativeRac... , Child Professional, Teacher writes:
I'm sorry to hear about your frustration with your son.  Many students develop their interest in school at different ages.  Some students are more interested in school than others.  That's just a fact of life.  Positively discussing your goals for him every night will help assist you in the process of getting him to happily complete his homework.  Set a schedule.  Dinner first, school work second, and then a fun activity of his choice so you can spend quality time together.  Instead of calling him lazy and illogical, you may want to praise him for little steps which get him closer to your goal.  
I'm sending you an article about how to communicate effectively with your son.  He will hear you more if he thinks you aren't judging or putting him down. I know it's frustrating when you are a parent and need to get him to complete some homework and he isn't complying.

http://www.education.com/reference/article/effective-parent-child-communication/

The next one is homework help.

http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Helping_Your_12/

This refers to teaching your child self-discipline.
http://www.education.com/reference/article/disciplinary-practices-parenting-styles/
> 60 days ago

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