seleise asks:

My son is 7. He was involved with a group of 4 boys that pushed a little  girl down and threw rocks at her and tried to remove her pants. What do I do?

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Oct 19, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Dear Seleise,

Thanks for writing in with this parenting issue. Parenting can be extremely difficult and when our young children engage in serious behaviors such as harming others, it can become overwhelming.

There are a number of questions that arise after reading your information. The answers to these will be helpful in providing you will useful suggestions.

1. What occurred prior to this attack?
2. Where did this occur?
3. What happened as a result of the attack? What were the consequences?

A seven year old is very capable of understanding that there are consequences to their behaviors.

One thing that we know is that consequences themselves do not change behaviors as quickly and effectively as pairing them with teaching more socially acceptable behaviors.

Your son should be spending a lot of time and attention learning how to solve problems without hurting others.

He should be learning how to resist negative peer pressure, (if the other boys instigated the attack.)

He should be required to deliver both a written apology and a verbal apology to the girl as well as offer to do something to make up for it.

If you are concerned that his violent action requires a psychological evaluation, please by all means arrange for that to occur as soon as possible.

As you know, this is a very serious behavior and one that could manifest itself into legal assault charges being made and juvenile court involvement as far as planning responsibilities for your son, if things do not change.

Good luck with this and let us know if this has been helpful.

Pat, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline

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