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Melissa12
Melissa12 asks:
Q:

My son has asperger's and his Teacher is not helping.

My son is in 2nd grade and was recently diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.His Teacher does not want to deal with it she expects him to do and be the same as all the other children. How should I approach the Teacher and by now the principal, and  have them take me very serious.My son comes home everyday upset and very nervous.His demeanor has changed since school has started he seems very withdrawn and sad,and the Speech Teacher spoke to me and said there was a power struggle between the Teacher and my son.but really she does not understand his disorder and The only problem with that is my son doesn't want power.She thinks he is laughing at her when she is talking to him or telling him to do something but really thats what he does when he is nervous or anxious.I told her this but she doesnt care she just wants him not to do it but he really cant help it.and so many other things that go along with this syndrome and I explained all the things that he has troubles with like noise and people touching him and him needing to sit near the front of the class what does she do sit him in the back.it seems like shes trying to do everything opposite from what I try to tell her would be best for him.Any advice would be greatly appreciated.Also they want to wait to do anything till they do the IEP testing but Parker can't wait that long my son is suffering. FYI.He is very quiet doesnt talk to anybody just sits at his desk and does nothing..Last year at his old school he did excellent.  
In Topics: My Relationship with my child's school, Autism & Aspergers Syndrome
> 60 days ago

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Expert

LouiseSattler
Nov 19, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Hello and thank you for writing.

I am so sorry that your family is having significant difficulties at this time, especially your son.  First, I would suggest writing to the school requesting a formal meeting to discuss your son's educational and social-emotional concerns.  Request this meeting in order to REVIEW and perhaps ALTER the IEP.  Keep a copy of your letter, send a copy to the school districts special education director and mail a copy to the school principal.  When you are invited to any meeting you may wish to bring along another adult to help you take notes, recall most of the information and be a support.  Some parents choose to bring special education advocates.

Please refer to these parent support networks for families with children who have Autism or Aspergers Syndrome.

http://www.kylestreehouse.org
http://www.ourjourneythruautism.com
http://www.autismnews.com
http://www.autismspeaks.com

Best wishes-

Louise Sattler, NCSP
Nationally Certified School Psychologist
Owner of Signing Families™


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Additional Answers (9)

teacherlady
teacherlady writes:
I am sorry to hear that you are having such difficulty with the teacher.  I have a recently diagnosed student in my room this year, and yes it is very challenging and has become even more so due to the fact that every "expert" is coming in my room and observing and helping.  We are fortunate to have a SECEP(Autistic class) in our building and believe me I am making use of the staff for any ideas to help my student and myself this school year.  As a parent I would DEMAND that the administration begin a child study and help you find appropriate help for your child.  Legally, the system has 30 days to comply to your WRITTEN request , I believe. I would also demand that he be moved to another room if possible or request homeschooling. While this is going on, look on line and in your community to see what help there is for you as a parent and invite the teacher to go as well. I wish you good luck and keep ypur faith.  I look forward to seeing what help you get and swapping ideas.  before i scoot 1 idea is to have a task board where at the bottom there is a picture of a reward; above are 3 pictures of things he has to do to get it.  I am also getting a kitchen timer to time put a deadline on compliance.  Any ideas that you get, make sure that you share them with the school.  Also put him in counseling.  The more documentation that you can provide the better.  include possible triggers and soloutions that you use at home.
> 60 days ago

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Aspergermom
Aspergermom writes:
Hi Melissa,my husband and I are grandparents/perm custody of our 2 granddaughters,on elf whom has aspergers, Dominique.Dominique was diagnosed late with aspergers as she also was a preemie and has mild cerebral palsy with seizures.she did beautifully in kindergarten,and horribly in the first half of first grade. She has a aide with her all the time in kindergarten and the first half of 1st grade.for whatever reason the aide was taken from abruptly, and it was down hill all the way from there.we noticed a marked change in her,very withdrawn,very sad and did not want to go to school.one day when my husband went to pick her up a caring school employee took him aside and told him his great concern in how the first grade .teacher was treating herHe was very worried and risked his job to help her.the teacher was send yanking and dragging her down the hall ,screaming inches from her face at her, make her stand in the hall as punishment because she couldn't do the work as fast as the other children.Dominique began vomiting during this period as well and I picked her up from school several times a week.she wasn't I'll,no flu etc.the teacher said she makes herself sick so she can go home,etcwell,turns out .Dominique was so scared and nervous from this abuse she developed g.e.r.d, the acid from her tummy was coming into her throat ,the action of pushing on her own throat to push the acid down was misconstrued bye the teacher as her making herself sick.we went to countless meetings ,to get her aide back. Etc and after hearing this from the school employee we instantly pulled her from school and she hasn't been back there since.we have home schooled her under the umbrella school called "homelife academy.based in Memphis.In order to homeschool in tn you have to register with either an umbrella school or a church- based school to meet the Tn education requirements .the change I Dominique was like night and day.to this very day when this teacher is spoke of she bursts into tears.  And sobs ..I don't what school  your son attends,but I would suggest alot of unannounced visits to the school to check on what's going on..follow your mothers instinct,.  Good luck and god bless,nancy
> 60 days ago

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sophiavannessa
sophiavanne... , Student writes:
My cousin, Isabella has something really close to aspergers. But i do not know what it is called. But anyway, your son. His teacher is putting way to much pressure on him. You should tell the principal that his teacher is putting to much pressure on your son. And then tell the teacher the same thing. Tell her that she cannot do that to your son. She has to listen it is your son not hers. the only relationship they have is that he is her student and that is not much. You are in charge of him and his teacher should not put this muck pressure on him. He cannot help it. And you said he did great last year so he has a good future. I do not know if you will follow this advice but please concider it.
> 60 days ago

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Badal98
Badal98 writes:
good for you.
> 60 days ago

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ADENSMOMMY
ADENSMOMMY writes:
get a IEP meeting NOW. go to the school board. GO OVER THERE HEADS, KEEP ON GOING OVER HEAD IN TELL U GET WHAT YOUR SON NEEDS!!!!!!!!!! U R YOUR CHILD'S AFFECT SPEAK FOR YOUR CHILDREN!!! AND PRAY ABOUT IT!!!!!
> 60 days ago

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NanaJan
NanaJan writes:
I am a special needs teacher and have students that are on the Autism pectrum.  I also work with teachers that do not understand what a child with Aspergers is all about.  This teacher made the remark to me that she has had an Autistic student in her classroom so she knew what it was like.  Depending on when the child's IEP is written, i would go in and ask for a different teacher.  This teacher sounds like she may have been teaching for years and it is HER classroom.  I would hate to think that the teacher is not willing to work with you but there are teachers out there like that.
> 60 days ago

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knight01
knight01 writes:
My son also has Aspergers.He was diagnoised at age 4.He is now 6years old.The first school he was in was great because his teachers daughter had Autism. I moved to a different town and his teachers say all the right things but i can tell they don't like him.they think he wants to control them.His current teacher said she thinks he is evil(she tryed to say it in a nice way...if thats possible).i know how painful it is to watch your child stuggle in a social setting like school.and on top of that the teachers treat him the same way the kids are treating him.I feel like hes being bullied from both ends.His report cards are worded like hes a trouble maker even though all of the issues there having with him are symptoms of Aspergers.I'm switching schools in Sept and keeping my fingers crossed.Im hoping they have more empathy.All I can suggest to you is to try to get the school board involved and if that does not work see if you can switch schools.let the new school know about the negative situation your son has been in so they can try to do a better job.
> 60 days ago

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CBrimmer
CBrimmer writes:
My nephew has Aspergers so I know how tough it can be. I agree with setting up a meeting with the principal/teacher/special ed director. As well as bringing another adult for note taking, I would bring along any doctors recommendations for his education (back up for what you're saying) any therapist notes (see we are trying!) a list of questions and recommendations that you have, and a tape recorder hidden in your purse. This last may come as a shock but my nephews teacher said some pretty horrible things at one point and having a recorder for note taking the comments were on tape. The school board wasn't pleased but the playback spoke for itself and the problem was fixed. I really hope that your son has better luck and more understanding teachers in the future, perhaps you could suggest a basic special needs awareness class for the staff in your school to the district, many districts will agree just to get the CEU's for the staff done.
> 60 days ago

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OKIEGIRL1981
OKIEGIRL1981 writes:
ME AND MY MOM ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING AT MY DAUGHTERS SCHOOL SO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL .... I'M ABOUT TO SUE THE SCHOOL BOARD MYSELF
> 60 days ago

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