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kmac1953
kmac1953 asks:
Q:

My son is being bullied and no one is doing anything about it.  What do you do?

My 12 year old is constantly being bullied in school the principle is aware . The teacher is aware but her idea is to remove my child and not punish the bullies or notify their parents. I beleive she is either a moron or afraid of repercussions from parents. So what do you do ? Some of the kids are black so of course if tells he is a racist, a snitch, or a rat. Any suggetions
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Jul 9, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

Dear Concerned Parent,

I am so sorry to hear that your son is being victimized at school. It must be very frustrating to hear that the principal and teacher are not concerned about getting to the bottom of the situation. I would strongly encourage you to request a face to face meeting with the school staff at the earliest opportunity. Prior to the meeting, make a list of your concerns and maybe even take a few minutes to practice what you might say. Be prepared to hear some feedback about your son's behavior as it sounds like the teacher may have some concerns.

Although it may take some cooperation, I would encourage you to take a team approach to the problem. Be sure to ask, "what can I do differently to help my son with this issues?" Because the staff seem to think that your son is part of the problem, listen to what is being said before you respond.

All students should be able to attend school without the fear of harassment. If you think that the principal and teacher are not willing to make changes to keep your son safe, I would encourage you to approach the school board with your concerns. Many parents have found that writing an informative letter to the board is a way to voice concerns while others have elected to attend and speak to the board members in person.

If you feel that it would help to speak to a counselor about your dilemma, please don't hesitate to contact the Boys Town National Hotline for help. Trained counselors are available to talk with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Many parents call to work through frustrating parenting dilemmas or just to vent concerns. Either way, we are here to help.

Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (3)

Developmentalist
Development... writes:
Thanks for reaching out!  Education.com has just launched a special edition to address this very issue.  Check out our special edition -- Bullying At School and Online.  

www.education.com/special-edition/bullying

You'll find great information that will answer your question and more.  
> 60 days ago

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sedwards
sedwards writes:
Sounds like your childs teacher just doesnt know how to handle bullies in the classroom.
You could try to help the school to train its teachers to prevent bullying by giving the principal a copy of this article:
http://www.education.com/reference/article/positive-school-climate-reduces-bullying/

The principal may not be aware that the school can get help from the U.S. Department of Education via the Safe Schools-Healthy Students Initiative.
Give your principal this information about the Safe Schools-Healthy Students Initiative: http://www.ed.gov/programs/dvpsafeschools/index.html

Its important to be persistent and continue to follow up with the school to ensure that some anti-bully training is happening.


At the same time, you can help your child avoid bullying by:

1. Encourage your child to stick with a friend at recess, lunch, in the hallways, on the bus or walking home because he is more likely to be targeted when he is alone.

2. Teach your child to say "Stop!" Most bullies stop bullying within 10 seconds, when someone tells him or her to stop.

3. Teach your child that violence is not a good option. Its a common myth that getting into a physical confrontation with a bully will solve the problem. In fact, research has shown that reacting with violence often backfires and escalates the violence even more.

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paxsez
paxsez writes:
The school is responsible to provide a safe learning environment. From your description they are failing to do so, depending on the state you live in schools have anti bullying programs.
Your job is to protect your child, I would contact the principal personally and ask what he or she intends to do to stop the bullying. If necessary go to the school board. Document every contact with the bully, and conversations with school officials and personnel.
NO child should be bullied, NO school should tolerate it and No punishing the victim because the school is too lazy to act.

Perhaps some form of self defense class would be helpful to build confidence in your child.
There is a good site called safewave that may have other suggestions or help.
> 60 days ago

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