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just4todaymom
just4todaymom asks:
Q:

How can help my son cope with being bisexual?

My son has told me that he is Bi Sexual.  I personally think that he is just unsure and confused about his sexual identity and is exploring.  I responed by telling him that I love him no matter what.  The problem is that his father (we are not together) and the way him and his wife are handling it.  They have told him that they are disappointed and make smart remarks about it to him by email.  He will not go visit them because of this but I am more worried about the things that they are saying to him and the impact it will have phycologically.  What if anything can I do or say to them or my son?
In Topics: Teen sexuality and dating
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Wayne Yankus
Mar 26, 2008
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What the Expert Says:

Congratulations on telling him you love him.  That was an important move and reaffirming at a time of confusion for many teens who are in the process of discovery of their sexual orientation.  The experience of gay, lesbian, and bisexual teens is often one of isolation, fear of discovery, and stigmatization.

Speak with your pediatrician, call PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) in your area, and remind your son of your support often.  Your ex may be fearful of losing the son he perceived he had,but it is important for him to understand that now is a critical time to show understanding until your son truly discovers his full orientation.

You are doing the right thing.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics

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Additional Answers (5)

michaelbartone
michaelbart... writes:
The best thing is to be there for him. Having gone through this myself, I know exactly what your son is going through and feeling. First off you need to be commended that he has confided in you about his sexuality. Many kids hide it from their parents. You have done a good job at providing a safe, loving, and open relationship with your son; many teens can only be so fortunate to have that.

As for how to handle this with his father, I think if you try to talk to them and let them know of your concerns things might get better. Your son needs to know his father is being reactionary and acting out in his own fear and ignorance. I would suggest, as well, contacting PFLAG. They are a great organization that can help you better understand your son during this time and how to talk with him and his father.
> 60 days ago

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mabs
mabs writes:
I do actually experience this kind of problem within me. I'm a 3rd year education student and i feel that i don't have anything to do with my life. i feel that i don't have any talent. that I'm a worthless girl who strives to study to make my parents proud. but having time to think about things, i noticed that i have a different perspective like the others. most of the time there would be at least two persons who would have the same perspective right? and mostly that person became your best friend. but i had never found one.. i have never found a best friend that would have the same way of thinking as I'm thinking.

and i think, it is because I'm not sure of what i want to be, what i like, and who do i think I'am. its very complicated having this kind of way of thinking.

try to ask yourself if you are sure of what you are doing, if that is what you really want, and if that is the work you want to have for the rest of your life..

thank you for reading my reply..

Anabel Bulotano
> 60 days ago

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crazyquiksilver
crazyquiksi... writes:
Well I know for me it was the hardest day in my life and unfortunately my adopted parents are like your "X" but since i was 18 i moved out and i am still with my boyfriend.It is good that you will support him no matter what for there are allot of parents that don't. I recommend you take him to see a therapist for no i don't know your son and everyone takes it different but when i was with my adopted parents they didn't know behind closed doors i was cutting my self every nite for i was depressed for they said they would disown me. but now i am with my bi logical family and they all agree we might agree with it or support it but do what makes you happy for they said if you are gay or bi-sexual we will love you the same. I would also recommend you tell your x and tell him that he doesn't have to like it but just be there for his son and love him the same. and just for you to know if he is almost half of us find out we are gay and some of us (like me) find it easier to tell our par rents that we are bi then gay for in particular those whom was brought up in a religious home
> 60 days ago

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LillithAnneSoul
LillithAnne... writes:
Support him, I never go support when i came out and thats all i wanted from atleast one of my parents. Im glad you told him no matter what you'd love him. keep saying that to him, if what his father and step mother are saying are bothering him sit him down and inform him he's perfect in your eyes, let him know your standing behind him on his decisions.
> 60 days ago

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nathanbanginghoes
nathanbangi... writes:
I am 14 I am bi my parents don't know but it is good to be who he wants  if he wants to date guys then he will date guys his (Father and his wife) can't change it he is who he is and just because we have A *Penis* does it make us non equal. I mean like fr I have  gf And she is bi as well so it is kinda good for both of us
> 60 days ago

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