Dear Confused and Tired,

It sounds like it has been a very long and difficult road for you. I would recommend that you work closely with the person or agency that diagnosed your son to understand him from a holistic point of view. What I mean by that is to develop an understanding of his functioning from all angles (social reasoning, academic and intellectual functioning, etc) in such a way that you "get" how he copes, what motivates him, what he is capable of. I personally believe that many educators and practitioners get caught up in the diagnoses and struggle to define and describe a child as a whole.

When you truly understand your son's functioning, you can develop (with the help of this school and practitioners who know your son) a comprehensive plan for him. A comprehensive plan would most likely include a consistent behavior plan for school and home (expectations, rewards, and yes, consequences) for his behavior. For instance, if he has a meltdown in the classroom, where can he go to cope and take care of himself (a quiet section of the classroom, a nurse's office, etc). Similarly, what about meltdowns at home? What typically triggers a meltdown?

In addition, you should continue to reach out to other parents and practitioners who can advise you on this journey. This site has a wealth of information and leads on authoritative non-profit organizations working to support parents with children who struggle with Asperger's:

http://www.education.com/topic/aspergers-syndrome/

Good luck and please keep us informed on your son's progress.

L. Compian, Ph.D.
Counseling Psychologist
Education.com

Have you considered brain-body integration?  Google 'Brain Gym' or 'Bal-A-Vis-X.'  Both address issues of attention, hyper-activity, impulsivity, an over-whelmed sensory center.

Hi Confused and tired my son is 13 he has been diagnosed ADHD,ODD,Bipolar& Aspergers also it is a handfull of diagnoses I was wondering if you could tell me if your son has anger problems also? I am really having alot of problems trying to get help with my sons anger no one seems to want to help his doctor wants to play with his medication I have never been offered any counseling for him therapy or anything. i have had to recently pull him out of regular school where he was in special education classes and put him into home school because he was getting into to many fights and it is getting very difficult to home school because he needs alot of help and I would like for him to return to school next year I was just wondering if you had experienced any anger issues and if so how did you cope? Where did you get answers?

My son is 13.  He was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, Bipolar and Aspergers as well.  I did not want to put him on medication etc.  however I just want to say that we broke down and put him on medicine.  AND WOW what a difference it made! He is happier.... we are able to communicate now.... he is doing so much better in school... he is in regular classes!  I know it is very hard for US as parents, but it is SO hard on them! I am just glad that we found the right medications, therapist, and psychiatrist.  My son is currently taking Adderall XR, Trileptal and Risperdal.  Seems like alot, but HE is happier and HE doesn't want to be off of his medication.  As a parent I made sure and researched all of the side effects.... and we haven't had any! To all of those that are struggling with this as we are... just have patience and try to always be calm.  It's the golden ticket! :)  Hugs to all of you!