My son was exposed to pornography and is now very curious, what should I do?
MY SON IS 12 1/2 AND DURING A COMPUTER CLASS AT SCHOOL GOT INTO A PORNO POP-UP, AFTER THAT HE GOT VERY CURIOUS AND HE IS EXPLORING ON-LINE WEB SITES THAT SHOW NUDE WOMEN THROUGH HIS CELL PHONE. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Many parents find that dealing with this type of situation can be very uncomfortable. On one hand, you want to explain to them that looking at pornography is wrong and that it gives an unrealistic view of women and their bodies. On the other hand, you need to be aware that a certain amount of curosity and exploring is normal and expected at that age.
I would simply sit down with your son and explain to him that yes, it's normal to be curious, but that pornography is very unrealistic of what women look like. Also, give him a few options of people that he can go to if he has any sexuality questions, for example, an uncle, or a male school counselor. Finally, make sure you set specific rules for him against looking at porn on his cell phone. It's definitely not something you want him to continue. Let him know what his consequences will be for doing such activities. Good Luck!
Speak to him about pornography. It is perfectly normal for a boy his age to be curious. Explain that you understand the nature of his curiosity, but also explain how porn degrades women, enslaves some, and is not how adult sexual behaviour is generally perceived or practiced. Anecdotal evidence suggests that pubertal boys will go on line for these sites once to three times a week dropping off interest in late high school.
Advise him about "Kidde porn" which is illegal in most states. It is difficult for most people to tell who is under 18 in these secenarios; however many police units have watch dog sections checking out the net and who is chatting. Children are unaware they can be caught in a sting.
It is a useful topic for the local PTA to address at a meeting. You are not the only parent who has found this an issue. Use your community strengths to be sure this is addressed and put filters on your computers to delte pop ups.
Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics
His hormones are running wild and will continue to do so for a few more years. He needs to be told how this degrades women and how not only do the women become slaves but the viewer also becomes enslaved to porn.
This could effect his mature relationship in the future when there needs to be more than lust to have a fulfilling relationship.
He needs to know future goals, shared beliefs and a best friend would be better for marriage. Too many people fall into lust and think it is love. When the lust dies down they find they have nothing else in common.
Also there is the fear of becoming addicted to porn.
Does he really need to have access to the Internet with his cell phone? Schools have computers for students. Sometimes we try to feel good about being a parent by competing with other parents by giving too many unnecessary costly item.
Tell him what sex is show him when the appreaite time to do it and that is it! No Doctor Nup it in the Bud he I 12 years old let him now what it is and that it is not ok to do it at his age. Tell him the right and wrongs and the penalties and that is it! No but's about it you are the parent and what ever you say goes! Until he is on his own let him know that Sex and pornography is not right! NUP IT IN THE BUD!!!