Hello Soccer-mom,

As a parent of a soccer player, I can tell that you want to help your son through this heartbroken time.  First,  I would have your son ask the coach why he was not selected.  But, I would have him phrase it in a way that seemed that he wanted to improve his skills and not seem that he was questioning the coaches decisions, such as..."Coach,  I know that you didn't select me, however, I wish to improve so I can be considered during your next season try outs. What do I need to do as an athlete that would help my chances?  Also, can I practice with the team to stay in shape?  Are there skill trainers you can recommend?"  

Now if your son does not wish to approach this coach, I would as a parent ask the coach what your son can do to help with his development as a soccer player to improve and seem more skilled and able to join the team in the future. Hopefully, a coach will be honest, but also instructive and not mean spirited.  Yet, there can be some people who may bluntly say things without realizing that behind every athlete is also a person who does not need his/her enthusiasm for sports squashed. I certainly would not get in a shouting match or try and reverse decisions.  It is unfortunate that every year children are not selected to teams and face this type of sad rejection.  Hopefully, they will persevere and perhaps take the time to make it a learning opportunity and a chance to possibly pursue other extra curricular activities.

Also, feel free to check out other teams that play within your region. Often there are recreational teams that are good for confidence building and not nearly as competitive as school or high level league teams.

Good luck!


Louise Masin Sattler, NCSP
Nationally Certified School Psychologist
Owner of Signing Families
http://www.SigningFamilies.com