Hello and thank you for writing about IEP meetings.  I know that the special education process can be very difficult and stressful.  However, don't be terrified as the goal of the meeting is to develop a program that matches your son's needs.  Hopefully, his IEP will address his strengths and use them to boost his weaker skill areas.
 
Here are a few of my recommendations to help you feel more at ease during the meeting.  
 
1.  Take your spouse, friend, a relative or someone you trust to the meeting.  This second person can jot down notes and be a second pair of "eyes and ears" to help you recall information and discussions later.
 
2.  Bring any questions you may have with you in writing.  Don't be afraid to ask them.  No question is "stupid".
 
3.  Don't feel badly about asking that the objectives/goals, methods, accommodations, etc. all be discussed slowly, clearly and in a way that you feel comfortable that you will leave with a clear understanding.
 
4.  Feel free to take home the IEP and re-read it prior to signing approval.  If you disapprove, that is OK too.  However, keep in mind that the federal laws clearly state that a child who qualifies for special education in the United States and attends public schools must have free and appropriate education in the least restrictive environment.  Often parents want more services than the team feels warranted.  Openly discuss your concerns with the multidisciplinary team and if you are truly dissatisfied with their IEP recommendations then ask for some adjustments.  If this is not possible or there is some resistance, confusion, etc. then bring a parent advocate with you when all reconvene (Assuming you do not sign the IEP and another meeting is needed.)  A parent advocate can be an excellent resource for parents as they are well versed with the special education process and often have had children in special education themselves.
 
5.  Ask for progress reports in writing and on a regular basis.  Waiting for an annual review may seem too long for you and also having regular reports will ease your stress about your son's IEP.
 
6.  Gauge your son's progress with his IEP by his "emotional barometer".  Is he feeling more successful and accomplished with his school and home work?  Is he making friends in school?  Does he seem happy to go to school?  Is he happy at home or upset often?  If you feel his "emotional barometer" is positive then that is a good sign.  However, if you have any concerns about his mood or behavior then ask to talk to his teachers, guidance counselors, etc.
 
7.  Please read about IEP meetings and learning challenges with children on the Education.com website and the ones I have listed below.
 
Good luck to you and your son!
 
Louise Masin Sattler
Nationally Certified School Psychologist
Owner of Signing Families
http://www.SigningFamilies.com

I have a son who is 9, He has Dyslexia and we have had many IEP's and some have been great and some not so much.. The only thing that you really need to remember you are his mother and not the school. They will tell you that you are not right and don't know what you are talking about...... HOLD YOUR GROUND  You know your BABY!!! If you have never had an IEP you need to sit down and look up Free Appropiate Eduaction in the least Restrictive Enviorment. This might help you. Many schools dont want to listen to you and what you want. If they don't tell the school that you will take it to the school board. They will listen you at this point.. I hope i have helped you.             GOOD LUCK!!

There is a good book "The Complete IEP Guide " How to advocate for your special Ed Child.(www.nolo.com)  I use it when I need.
 Also get informed about The federal Law for Individuals with disabilities Education Act - IDEA. Just searching in the internet you will find many resources. But if something goes wrong, you always has the right to request a new IEP, whenever you feel its necessary. Hope this information can help you and good luck.

Everyone has some great tips tha they have given to you.  I am a special education teacher, and I teach in a self contained classroom for children with autism.  I find that parent/teacher communication is very important!  I almost always send home an IEP before hand, so this way the parent can look over it.  You might want to ask the teacher for it.  I always try to ask my parents also what some of the things they expect from school.  I always want the parents to be the advocate!  Don't forget that.
 
Good luck!