Carriebland
Carriebland , Parent asks:
Q:

What do we do to help our son to listen at home like he does in school

I have a 6 yr old son who listens and follows directions in school, but at home we are having trouble. Any suggestions on what to do. He wants to yell and through fits, back talks,but he does not do this in school
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 18, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Hello, Carrie,

We're sorry to hear that your son doesn't listen and has some tantrums.  Keep in mind that at six, he's still liable to throw fits every so often.  To help him listen to you a little better, make sure that you're getting down on his level and looking him in the eye.  

Also, just like with adults, it's hard to pay attention and retain anything if you're angry.  That said, deal with his tantrum before you try to say anything else.  When you get down on eye level with him, describe his misbehavior to him.  Don't just say something like, "Stop that!" or "Don't throw a fit!"  Instead, be specific: "You are stomping your feet and shouting."  You can encourage him to take a few deep breaths, and then when his tantrum has tapered off, clearly tell him what you want him to do.

To correct his tantrums, you'll want to make sure you follow up with a negative consequence after you describe the tantrum.  For example, "You are stomping your feet and yelling.  Go take a five minute time out."  Be brief and simple.

Good luck!

MKM, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (2)

ldelsol
ldelsol writes:
He does not do this at school, because school won't give the attention he wants when he does this.

My suggestion; get a goal chart....list about 5 things this child needs to do (jobs: ie......dress himself, empty gabage can in bathroom, make his own bed, get up when alarm goes off, put shoes away) each day as he completes HIS tasks he gets a star or check mark on the chart....after 5 days of continuous stars/checks....HE gets something....a trip to McDonalds.....a bite-size piece of candy.....an ice cream cone....whatever it may be.  The chart should have his goal on it so he can see it everyday and whenever you update the chart.  The winner as keeps the eyes on the prize.

Look up "Love & Logic Parent"  EXCELLENT....started with that since my son was 3 years old....so far very responsible and respectful.  Got to start with a foundation....and build from there.  Doesn't mean they won't make bad decisions, maybe just not too many of them.  Will learn to think before REACTING....finding a way to use the thought process of 'this decision = this outcome".  I am hoping to raise a person that will reason before jumping into things.  Trying to instill this while he is young and still loves his mom....might help our relationship in the future.
> 60 days ago

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anothergreatmom
anothergrea... writes:
It is great he doesn't behave like this at school but better when he doesn't at home. One of the main reasons he doesn't at school is because the teacher remains firm and consistent most likely something he lacks at home. Also, he is aware at school there will be consequences should he act out. But soon enough if you don't start to change this he may begin to act like this at school then you will be in trouble. The longer you take to start the transformation the more devastating on both you and him. Firm up some Mom, you need to!!! When he throws his fits don't feed into it. It sounds like you give in and give him the upper hand. So he knows that when he throws himself around the floor kicking and screaming, he will get it his way. You may even perhaps ask his teacher what they say to him when he misbehaves or how they handle discipline. Don't forget to stay communicating with your child always ask how his day was what he did building a good bond also helps with behavior. Sometimes they just want attention. Best of luck you guys will pull through.
> 60 days ago

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