What do we do to help our son to listen at home like he does in school

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Carriebland , Parent asks:

I have a 6 yr old son who listens and follows directions in school, but at home we are having trouble. Any suggestions on what to do. He wants to yell and through fits, back talks,but he does not do this in school

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges

> 60 days ago

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Boys Town National Hotline

Feb 18, 2012

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What the Expert Says:

Hello, Carrie,

We're sorry to hear that your son doesn't listen and has some tantrums. Keep in mind that at six, he's still liable to throw fits every so often. To help him listen to you a little better, make sure that you're getting down on his level and looking him in the eye.

Also, just like with adults, it's hard to pay attention and retain anything if you're angry. That said, deal with his tantrum before you try to say anything else. When you get down on eye level with him, describe his misbehavior to him. Don't just say something like, "Stop that!" or "Don't throw a fit!" Instead, be specific: "You are stomping your feet and shouting." You can encourage him to take a few deep breaths, and then when his tantrum has tapered off, clearly tell him what you want him to do.

To correct his tantrums, you'll want to make sure you follow up with a negative consequence after you describe the tantrum. For example, "You are stomping your feet and yelling. Go take a five minute time out." Be brief and simple.

Good luck!

MKM, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

Resources:

http://www.BoysTown.org/

http://www.Parenting.org/

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ldelsol writes:

He does not do this at school, because school won't give the attention he wants when he does this.

My suggestion; get a goal chart....list about 5 things this child needs to do (jobs: ie......dress himself, empty gabage can in bathroom, make his own bed, get up when alarm goes off, put shoes away) each day as he completes HIS tasks he gets a star or check mark on the chart....after 5 days of continuous stars/checks....HE gets something....a trip to McDonalds.....a bite-size piece of candy.....an ice cream cone....whatever it may be. The chart should have his goal on it so he can see it everyday and whenever you update the chart. The winner as keeps the eyes on the prize.

Look up "Love & Logic Parent" EXCELLENT....started with that since my son was 3 years old....so far very responsible and respectful. Got to start with a foundation....and build from there. Doesn't mean they won't make bad decisions, maybe just not too many of them. Will learn to think before REACTING....finding a way to use the thought process of 'this decision = this outcome". I am hoping to raise a person that will reason before jumping into things. Trying to instill this while he is young and still loves his mom....might help our relationship in the future.

> 60 days ago

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