anony
anony asks:
Q:
son seems to be not listening in school consistently and has less focus and does not finish work completely
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Sep 8, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

This could be due to any number of factors including emotional, social, or physical reasons.  Have you been able to talk with your son about why he has had trouble with all of these things?  Having and open and meaningful conversation with him will be the best way to gather information and figure out what is going on.  When you have this conversation try not to belittle or scold him.  Discipline is sometimes necessary, but gathering information and problem solving together can be a part of the process as well.  Maybe he is depressed, maybe something is biologically going on to cause this, or maybe he is just struggling with the material in class.  You will not know the reason unless you ask.  

If you sit down to have a conversation with him and he does not engage with you in a dialogue about what is going on in the situation, it may be useful to speak with his teacher and see what they think as well. His behavior at school may be able to clue you in as to what is going on.  If it seems to be an emotional problem, than a consultation and assessment with a psychologist may be helpful.  Also let him know that unless he communicates with you and those around him about what is happening, then you don't know how best to help him.  Also know that sometimes communication with kids is best done through writing as they get older.  Teens are not always comfortable speaking with their parents, but they may be comfortable writing them a letter or an email.  

Also know that you can call our hotline 24-7 for additional information on parenting issues such as this.  We are here to help!

Counselor, Dominic
Boys Town National Hotline-A hotline for parents and teens
1-800-448-3000
www.parenting.org

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Additional Answers (1)

kschuitt
kschuitt writes:
i have 4 boys 19,10,8, and 2 1/2. when my 19 yr old was in kindergarten his birthday was one of the ones where you could start them as they would be turning 5 within the 1st few months of school so i did as thats what my parents did with me and my sister. he made it all the way through K- and the about april 2 months before graduation his teacher at baldwin lane tells me she doesn't think he will graduate kindergarten. I was apalled as I had never her anything but positive notes and attributes towrd him the whole year. I knew he was a daydreamer but attributed that to him being 5 and I had always been told boys mature younger then girls. I then asked for a meeting with the principal and they gave me the run around but I am not the type to give up so I called everyday or went there until she met with me. i asked that he be tested for add as he did besides daydream he would staqre out the window or it would take me calling his name 3 or 4 time to get his attention. she said it would take months to get it approved for him to be tested, and i told her it was the schools responsibility to make sure it got done, she just didnt want to do all the paperwork. In turn i went to northshore elementary where i went to school and explained my dilemma, as baldwin lane graduated my son even though they didn't think he was completely ready, and thats how we get illiterate kids that our schools just pass because they dont want to see them back in their classes, and my son wasn't going to be one of those statstics. as soon as north shore heard what baldwin lane did they had the paperwork prepared and my son was being tested for A.D.D. in 10 days. The test proved that he did have A.D.D. and had an I.E.P. done to see what areas he had problems with, was put on the proper medication and attended Northshore all through elelmentary, then B.B. Middle school, and and thanks to the faculty at Northshore who actually care about their students, my son ccontinually was checked to see if he still needed to be on the I.E.P. program and as of june 17, 2011 he graduated from Big Bear High School with a 2.10 GPA and I was really worried he was going to graduate at all. So you keep pushing til you get what your child is entitled to even if you have to take it to the board of directors or higher your child deserves the best, and certain schools up here don't offer it. Good luck!
> 60 days ago

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