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lavy
lavy asks:
Q:

how can I help my son son think positively always,teach him to respect me and stop wasting his precious time and limit tv/youtube) and speaking truth,

my 8 year old son is very angry type and wastes his precious time running around the home/play outside /watching tv/YouTube  videos like dino etc.,if stop it turns aggressive,his scores also came down, teacher says he is good but dont want to be good. what should i do pl advice? why he is lying for simple things which are not serious at all? he says "i found it on the floor" after i check his bag and find a new thing.
In Topics: School and Academics, Children and the internet
> 60 days ago

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Expert

JeanneBrockmyer
Mar 22, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

It's wonderful that you are trying to deal with this problem while your son is still young.  I wonder if his angry behavior is a reflection of some frustration with difficulty he is having in other important areas of his life, such as school.  I am guessing he is in second grade by his age at this time of year.  You also say he is having some trouble in school. Hard to tell which came first, the behavior issues or the school problems.  Probably would be good to talk with the school and see if they could do an evaluation to see if there are learning issues.  You might also want to talk with his pediatrician or family doctor about the behavior and learning questions.  Children with school and learning problems often seek distraction with tv or video games. It's your job to monitor their use and limit their exposure to negative and violent media. The lying issue may be related to the whole situation, children often lie to, as they think, stay out of trouble.  Whatever the specific problem turns out to be, I hope you will approach this situation as a cry for help.  Your child seems to need some sort of evaluation and perhaps intervention.    

Jeanne H. Brockmyer, Ph. D.
education.com clinical psychology expert

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Additional Answers (1)

EIdGrandmom
EIdGrandmom writes:
When my son was a bit younger, he went through a Serious period of lying, similar to what you describe.  I had a casual conversation with him and told him that how valuable a person was depended on how truthful he was.  When he would tell me about anything after that, I simply considered ALL answers to be a lie, until I was able to Prove that his answer was the truth.  It took several months to break him, I had to be just as stubborn as he was.  But, he started to tell me that he Really was telling the truth, and did not know why I did not believe him.  I told him that once someone tells a lie, people think Everything they say is a lie.  After the few trying months, he Never lied again (not even in high school).
As far as wasting time on TV or such; it is simply a matter of putting a time limit on the Amount of time you consider ok.  Have a discussion, let HIM set the amount of time AND the consequenses when the time limit is NOT followed.  I was always amazed that my children came up with Tougher consequenses than I would have.  Again; the parent has to be ready to follow through ALL the time.
As far as being angry, another talk might help.  Tell him that people enjoy being with someone who is happy and not angry.  Ask him why he is angry, if he can tell you -- try to fix the problem.  Otherwise, try to involve him in activities where being angry result in him receiving consequenses he does NOT like.
In my opinion, letting the child know that it is up to him/her to control themselves results in a better adult.  What do YOU want?  A good child? OR a good adult?
IF all else fails, do what I did, have the child go to counseling to find out what is troubling him.  If there is a boy's organization (like boy scouts, or even a Karate class) near-by, they often can help his self-esteem.
> 60 days ago

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