jjohnson019
asks:
Q:
My son started a new school. He started hitting his teacher and sent her home with bruises. I do not know what to do?
my son has had alot of stress in his life. we moved to a new school, no longer sees his grandparents. The teacher is nice but he says he doesnt want to go to this school he wants his old school and wants to live with my partents( nana and tata) he started hitting his teacher and got sent home every single day since his first day. I tried sitting there with him to see if that will help nut it doesnt seem to be helping. he still ran out didnt want to sit. wanted nothing to do with the teacher or school. he tried to hit me a few times. I dont know what to do. i tried taking things from him. time out. but he doesnt care. I need help.
In Topics:
Parenting / Our Family, Discipline and behavior challenges, Communicating with my child (The tough talks)
> 60 days ago
What the Expert Says:
Additional Answers (1)
Hi there,
I'm sorry you and your son are going through such a stressful time. You didn't mention how old your son is but it sounds like he's in elementary school since he only has one teacher.
I hope one of our great experts will answer your question as well - I think you need to get some professional opinions here. This is a tough situation!
But I will say that I think you should take a break from the punishment route (taking things, time outs, etc) and try to find a reward system that works for your son. First I would spend some time talking to him and letting him know that you understand how hard the situation is. Make sure he gets a chance to tell you exactly how he feels about everything. You don't have to fix it - you just have to listen to him.
Once he knows that you're "on his side", you can start to work on his behavior together. Set up some kind of star or sticker plan so that every time he behaves well, he gets rewarded with a sticker. Once he saves up 5 stickers (or so) he gets some kind of treat (a new book, a trip to the ice cream shop with you, etc). If you can focus more on what he's doing right (instead of what he's doing wrong), I bet you'll find his behavior improving a lot.
It might also for him to know that he doesn't have to completely cut off his old life. Is it possible to call his grandparents every week or a couple of times a week? Are there friends there that he can stay in touch with?
I would definitely check in with your school's counselor to let her know the situation. She may have some great ideas to help you support your son through this transition. She may even have groups for kids like him who are going through a big life change.
I hope things get better soon!
Kat
I'm sorry you and your son are going through such a stressful time. You didn't mention how old your son is but it sounds like he's in elementary school since he only has one teacher.
I hope one of our great experts will answer your question as well - I think you need to get some professional opinions here. This is a tough situation!
But I will say that I think you should take a break from the punishment route (taking things, time outs, etc) and try to find a reward system that works for your son. First I would spend some time talking to him and letting him know that you understand how hard the situation is. Make sure he gets a chance to tell you exactly how he feels about everything. You don't have to fix it - you just have to listen to him.
Once he knows that you're "on his side", you can start to work on his behavior together. Set up some kind of star or sticker plan so that every time he behaves well, he gets rewarded with a sticker. Once he saves up 5 stickers (or so) he gets some kind of treat (a new book, a trip to the ice cream shop with you, etc). If you can focus more on what he's doing right (instead of what he's doing wrong), I bet you'll find his behavior improving a lot.
It might also for him to know that he doesn't have to completely cut off his old life. Is it possible to call his grandparents every week or a couple of times a week? Are there friends there that he can stay in touch with?
I would definitely check in with your school's counselor to let her know the situation. She may have some great ideas to help you support your son through this transition. She may even have groups for kids like him who are going through a big life change.
I hope things get better soon!
Kat
> 60 days ago
