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Anonymous
Anonymous asks:
Q:

My son was suspended today because he was hitting other kids.  This is not the first time. Im worried and do not know how to approach the problem.

In Topics: Bullying and teasing, Discipline and behavior challenges, Communicating with my child (The tough talks)
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Nov 5, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Thank you for contacting Education.com.

It is very understandable that you are concerned about the situation with your son, but it is very good that you are reaching out for support and guidance.

You don't mention your son's age or grade, but being suspended from school because of hitting other kids, is a major problem which needs to be dealt with. Your son needs to know that you are very disappointed with his behavior and that you are not going to "bail him out" of the situation. He needs to be held accountable for his actions. While he is suspended, do not allow him to watch TV or use the computer unless he is doing homework. Depending on his age, you may also have him write a letter of apology to the other children and the principal.

Since this is not the first time your son has been in trouble for hitting other kids, consider taking him to his pediatrician for a check up for starters. You want to make sure there are no medical conditions which could be causing problems. Your pediatrician may also be able to recommend a child and family therapist. A good therapist will work with your son and with you, the parents in helping your son how to learn to control his anger and aggression.

Your son may be dealing with a variety of emotions and feelings. He may be feeling guilty about what he did, which is actually a good sign that he understands that what he did was wrong. It is more concerning when a child continues to harm others and shows no remorse. Try not to shame your son for his behaviors, but try to teach him by using positive discipline. For example, he could earn rewards or privileges by having a good week where he did not lash our or hit anyone. You can keep track on a calendar and depending on his age he could earn stickers or points for example.

Our website has books to help parents who are dealing with the issue of bullying from both sides of the issue. Please go to: www.boystownpress.org to search our catalog for resources. If you want to speak with a counselor in more detail about your son, please call or e-mail our Hotline. We are here 24/7 to help parents and children.

Take care and best wishes to you and your son.

Sincerely,

Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
hotline@boystown.org
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Additional Answers (4)

rkaiulani
rkaiulani writes:
Hi there,

I t can be painful the admit that your own child may be bullying other children. However, parental involvement can be key to stopping the cycle. Here's a very relevant and informative article to check out. Hope this helps, and good luck!

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justice65
justice65 , Caregiver, Parent writes:
As a parent you want to investigate the problem deeper relating to your sons acctions. Was there any bullying that was going on that your child is handeling  by himself ? Is he having educational problems that gets him frustrated and takes it out on others?etc,  You need to request a meeting with the teacher and school social worker and come up with a plan to help your child .Your child might be in need of some sort of extra support while in school for example educational (reading ,comprehending ,learning disabilities etc ) or emotional (ADD ADHD etc) .Schools Psycologists are good in identifying children with any type of needs and give them the support they need .The sooner the better Good Luck
> 60 days ago

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Sugarlips
Sugarlips writes:
Try to see why hes hitting children.  Maybe hes been influenced. Try to see how his friends are when their not in front of a parent. His friends could be acting rude, or so, witch may influence him to be a bully.  Maybe he has anger issues, and cant handle remarks that other kids have been making.
> 60 days ago

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lynellen
lynellen writes:
Some children with sensory processing disorders react to unexpected bumps by other children by hitting back becasue their nervous system is on overload.  Check out the book Sensational Kids by Lucy Jane Miller for more information.
> 60 days ago

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