Hi Valerie,

I imagine it must have been very upsetting to discover that your son was a regular user of Marijuana. It sounds like you have taken a very firm and thoughtful approach to the situation, and I have little doubt that you will be able to help your son through this period.

First, I believe that it was more than appropriate to communicate to your son that you will not tolerate him using marijuana, particularly everyday and before school. As you may know, research shows that marijuana negatively impacts an individual's memory, attention, and learning. Thus, his regular use of marijuana is most definitely causing problems for him academically. You didn't mention whether his grades are being affected yet, but my guess that his little habit will cause problems for him at school sooner or later. This, in addition to the research showing the marijuana use can cause problems for the developing brain (his brain is developing through early adulthood), will have lasting consequences.

Second, you asked for specific feedback on what to do to help your son. In addition to forbidding marijuana use, I believe that you should implement some clear and concise rules around the use of substances, including marijuana, alcohol, and other substances. Also, what are the consequences for breaking these rules? For instance, he might lose a privilege for a certain period of time or be grounded for a specific period. Finally, I do believe that it would be worthwhile to find a counselor for him. His guidance counselor is a good start, but school counselors can't typically provide regular support for an extended period of time. They typically refer to an outside counselor if they believe that a child will need that kind of support. Thus, I suggest that you seek out a counselor with experience in teen substance use. There are a variety of reasons why a teen might start using marijuana: to fit in with a social group, trouble getting along with authority figures, and difficulties coping. Your son would benefit from developing alternative strategies for coping with the challenges of adolescence.

Also, here is some great information for your son on the topic:
http://www.nida.nih.gov/MarijBroch/Marijteens.html

Good luck! Parenting a teen is a challenge, but you are off to a great start!