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chickadees
chickadees asks:
Q:

My sons having a bad time at school . For example the teacher told him he was THE WORSE CHILD IN THE CLASS !! Wat should i do ???

He thinks he always to blame and comes ome sad most nites. He only went bak yesterday nd ended up in trouble. He said a naughty word and looses playtime to write an apology to the person involved. Where was my sons apology wen he had his pants pulled down in class? There are many incidents and i'm feeling like a moaning minny. Wat should i b doin.
In Topics: Friendships and peer relationships, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Dr.Monika
Feb 26, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

I agree that talking with the teachers and observing your child at school should take place.  Also, nobody should say to a child that he is the worst one in the class.  That's very inconsiderate, cruel, and plainly inappropriate coming for the mouth of an educator.  

Explore the reasons for why such things are being said to your child and why you are not informed of a potential problem.  Ultimately, the parent is responsible for helping his or her child to correct troublesome behaviors.  Therefore, he or she should be informed if there is a problem and the child should not be put down.  

You may want to consider seeing a child therapist.  Being picked on, and bullied, yes taking somebody's pants off is considered that, on a regular basis will adversely affect anybody's psyche.  The teachers should be informed of that and you should request that the bullying is stopped immediately.    

Your son already is sad on a daily basis and thinks that he is to be blamed for everything.  His self-esteem needs a boost.  He could be depressed.  Talk with his regular health care provider about a referral to a pediatric therapist as soon as possible.

Suggested readings:

5 Strategies to Prevent Your Child From Being Bullied

http://www.pluggedinparents.com/component/content/article/597

Encouraging High Self-esteem

http://www.pluggedinparents.com/component/content/article/442

Best regards.
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Additional Answers (2)

MelBee
MelBee writes:
Have a conversation with the teacher to find out what exactly has your child done.  What precedes these " misbehaviors".  Deal with what triggers it, work too hard/ too easy, does your child have the opportunity to move around, work collaboratively or is it the sit down, be quiet atmosphere.  Hold the teacher accountable to meeting the needs of your child and there will be no reason for the acting out.  Have the teacher not label your child unless it is positive, children will live up to your expectations.

At home hold your child accountable for his choices in behavior.  It's not okay to be disrespectful.  Teach him to use his words respectfully to describe an emotion or dissatisfaction that he may be feeling, not actions.  

And last, please do surprise visits!  It keeps the teacher on alert and it shows your child that he is important enough for you to make time in your day to check on his day.
> 60 days ago

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Carli
Carli , Teacher writes:
Hola!, nice to meet you. Well, behaviour is not easy to handle. It requires a lot of love. YES, Love. Usually, when a student missbehaves he/she is looking for something, it could be attention or maybe is a way to express sadness. Still, a teacher can not tell him/her, under any circumstance those words which far from make things better... will contribute to make the student feel rejected.Bad thing.
Talk to your child and ask him sweetly what he feels when he is in the school, and find out at what moment he feels better. Then..talk to his teacher, the one involved. But please dont go in a range as if she is your child`s enemy. She is not. I am sure she lost  her mind for a minute and she regrets it now. When the teacher  sees you are not mad at her but really concerned about your son `s behaviour.. she surely should offer you an idea to try to work thinsg out  both together to make your son`s days at school much more enjoyable.
Un beso
Carla.
> 60 days ago

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