Dear 20and2kids,

Young moms, and older ones, deserve lots of help and support. I'm glad you reached out to us here. We can help you to help Hunter and Dylan get along together and you won't need to yell or spank to do it.

Time-out and spanking don't work because the *reason* your son's behavior goes off track with his little brother in the first place is that he isn't feeling well and lovingly connected with anyone at that particular moment. Time-out, yelling or spanking just make the feelings of disconnection worse. They might get you better behavior, for a little while, out of fear, but they don't build the loving and caring family relationships you are trying to promote between the boys and the whole family.

I've attached a couple articles to help you think through what to do instead. The first one explains what to do instead of spanking. The second one talks about how to promote the kind of friendly sibling behavior between the boys that you are looking for. The third link is an audio that talks about ways to set limits that will get you the results you are looking for *and* promote warm, fun, caring family relationships.

We're here to talk through any of these things with you. Let us know how it goes!

Juli
Juli Idleman
Hand in Hand Parenting
www.handinhandparenting.org