Seems your recogninzing your current choices are'nt necessairly leaving you feelng personally proud.  You can challenge yourself to a list of priorities you would like to accomplish.  Set daily goals a list of things to do and how are you going to get the first 5 done on the list if they are achievable and go for it.  You should be able to recognize there isnt as much time for the diversions and you are proud not to partaking in those tasks that are a experience you'd rather leave behind you.  Make it more of a habit to complete your expected priorites should leave you feel more mature in making better decisions that make you proud to be you.  Dont give up on making a better you.  Live it up but not to the point you can't live it down.  Maybe you can talk to your parents or a realative for support or keep a diary of what is good and why and what you would like to be better and use those in your goals.

You could get saved,  ask Jesus to forgive you , He has a plan and a purpose for your life, plans for a future and a hope.  Once you surrender your life to Him,  just beleive,  He will forgive,, He will take your burdens,, He does heal all.

Sex and other things are quite natural subjects of interest at your age. You can do some research and reading ( i.e.Psychology Today) or speak with an adult (male) about this matter to gain reassurance that you are a normal red-blooded male