skylar1 asks:

How to help my stepson make friends?

Jay is 13, he has adhd. jay has NO friends at all, its sad, but he is different from other kids like.. he dresses out of style, his hair has no style and he dont take care of his looks n doesnt want to b bothered with it but jay is really very good looking .. now he also talks about things that dont interest other kids his own age or any age really, n he speaks in a way that idk no one else does, he is very litteral at times.  jay is affraid to stay home alone if we run up the street to the store, he wont ride his bike off the block when other kids his age r going to the store 2 miles away. he gets picked on in school, he is really a super nurd, he's the neadle in a haystack that sticks out like a sore thumb!  and i just want to help him because i know he isnt happy, all he does is watch tv with me n his dad or play xbox alone  or his lago's , his taste in music is his parents not his own, he talks about flying planes n driving trains like he really is doing it when its just a computer game!  ppl look at him like he's nuts and it brakes my heart. plz dont tell me to leave him alone i dont want to , he really needs help! he needs friends all kids do specially his age when life is changing so much for him he needs someone his age to confide in and laugh with and talk about girls with ect.. please give me real advice. fyi i do have 2 kids of my own all grown up and i never had this problem b4 n also know... i love him like he was mine.
In Topics: Back to school, Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago



Aug 27, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

Skylar1, making friends is not always easy for kids.  Here are a few things you might try.

Model - Often kids with ADHD lack the social skills needed to make friends naturally.  Show him how you introduce yourself to others, have polite conversation, make future plans, etc.  As you do each of these things, point it out to Jay and talk about what you did an why.  Then have him practice.  This might be a simple as him introducing himself to your adult friends.

Have Jay invite a friend on a family outing.  This could be to a zoo, bowling, or picnic.  This way you can help Jay control the conversation and once again model appropriate behavior.

Join a therapy group for teaching social behaviors.  Often there are community groups that offer group therapy for young teens on how to behave in certain situations.  You may have to call around to find one, but they can be very beneficial.  Who knows, Jay might also find a friend there.

Hope these gives you a few ideas.  Good luck!

Barb K

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